[Mike aims and purposefully misses the adult deer]
NNolan
Wow. I didn't even see that one. We don't usually shot babies but that was a hell of a shot. (laughs)
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Mike, shouldn't we wear the oranges?
Oh, forget the oranges.
[Mike opens the door and a gunshot is heard]
Let's orange up.
[Mike and Carter have taken the wounded deer to a hospital]
DDoctor
what are you doing, that is a deer
Oh darn, that means I’ve got Ed strapped to the roof of my car
[Filling out patient admission forms at the hospital for the deer]
Blood type?
Deer? [off Carter’s look] Deer negative.
‘Relationship to patient’ oh that’s easy: Assassin!
Listen Carter, I may have shot him, but you ate his mother!
DDeidre
[Meeting Carter and Rags for the first time] Right, you're the gay guy. [She opens her robe, flashing him] So this means nothing to you? [Carter stares in shock and covers Rags' eyes]
Paul, ever since you got married, you have been nothing but excuses
Well that's not true!
Paul, you've been married five months, you've celebrated your anniversary seven times!
Mike, Claudia needs me.
I need you!
Claudia depends on me.
I depend on you!
Claudia gives me sweet lovin'.
......I depend on you!
[James is in a Michael Jackson costume and Carter walks in with his costume covered in a coat cover]
(sees James and tosses his costume to the floor) DAMN IT!
[Stuart is wearing a Bill Clinton mask]
(in a Bill Clinton like voice) Deny, deny, deny.
[Mike and Carter are looking for Councilman Pete]
(in a bunny suit) Mike, hurry up!
I can't run in this suit!
[Mike runs into a phone booth and changes into a Superman costume]
[Mike is sitting on the Mayor's lap]
(in a Santa suit) Well, young man, what do you want for Christmas?
Uh, my dignity back.
LCLloyd and Carter
(together) You're disgusting.
Alfred and Stuart" (together) Bite me.
[Carter is having a dream about the future]
Long time no see. How old are you now?
(Looks exactly the same) Eighty-eight.
You know who I can't believe is still alive?
Who? Ha.
[Camera shows Rags sitting on a chair]
I don't get this rock-papers-scissor. Why does paper beat rock?
It just does!
Why don't you grab a piece of paper, I get a rock, we'll meet at the playground and then let's see what beats what!
Was there a reason why you would do this to me?
Did you not strut down a runway in a 300-pound fat-suit?
Yeah.
Then I don't understand the question...
On that note, I found this while I was accidentally...rifling through your desk. (Reading personal ad) "Divorced male seeks special lady for romance." Sir, you can't submit a personal ad.
You think that's me?
[Reading personal ad] "6'4, salt and pepper hair.....Mayor of New York."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Spin City pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.