[The school hallway, moments later. The boys gather in from of the chart that Cartman had mentioned.]
There, ya see!? Can ya fahking believe it!?!?
Is that really all our wiener sizes!?
Yeah, dude look at it! It says right there: "Eric Cartman, 1.2 in"! [turns around and faces the others] Why would they tell everybawdy that!?!? They wanna measure my wiener, FINE! BUT DON'T PUT ME ON BLAST!!!!
Craig Tucker, 2.4 inches. Yeah; that's about right.
Butters Stotch, 2.2 inches. Is that good?
How big do they say mine is? [several other boys walk up to the chart in curiosity as Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey watch from afar]
I told you the students would be interested in how much they grew since their last physical.
You right. They really seem into it, m'kay. [takes a sip of coffee and walks away.]
[looks at the chart in perplexation] Wait, it says that my penis is only 2.1 inches; that doesn't seem right.
[enraged] No schick, Sherlock! My penis isn't 1.2 inches eitha! IT ISN'T! This is anotha conspiracah by DA SCHOOL FACUALTAHH!!!
[curious and confused] A conspiracy?
They're tryin' to stir up some big thing again, get all da girls all heated up- freakin' out- over which boy has da biggest schlong! THIS HAS TO BE DEALT WITH!!!!
Well, everyone's already seen it; there's nothing we can do about it now.
Oh, there's something we can do about it, alright! It they're gawna put us on blast, they're at least gawna get da numbahs right! We are going to REMEASHAA!!!!
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