Corinne Tate Flotsky quotes from Soap

Corinne

I'm moving in with Peter Campbell... who's also having an affair with mother.

Eunice

Mother? Our mother? The mother downstairs? Jessica? The redhead?

Corinne

That's the one.

Eunice

I can't believe it. I mean, it took me twenty years to believe she did it with Daddy.

Corinne

You're asking me to marry you?

No, I've gone to my superiors and asked to be released from my vows because I want to go steady.

Mary

What's been going on with you three?

Jessica

Well, Eunice is depressed and Corinne is depressed and I was just debating whether or not to join them.

Mary

Sounds like fun.

Jessica

Actually, I think I've been depressed quite a lot lately. I mean, I eat a lot and I just simply cannot sit still.

Corinne

I don't think you're depressed, ma. I think you're horny.

Corinne

He's here because of me.

Jessica

Don't be silly, Corinne, the devil doesn't even know you.

Corinne

It's all my fault. He's here because of me, because I slept with everyone in town.

Mary

Oh Corinne, please. First of all, you did not sleep with everyone in town.

Corinne

Yes, I did.

Jessica

Oh, please. Did you sleep with the mayor?

Corinne

Yeah.

You slept with the mayor?

Jessica

[disgusted] Oh my goodness, the mayor. I voted for him.

Mary

I told you not to vote for him. I told you to vote for Swanson.

Corinne

I slept with him, too.

Mary

You did?

Corinne

Believe me, the best man won.