TV show quotes
[after Schemee's bad luck scam has been exposed]
I am so disappointed!
Because it wasn't bad spirits? Only Schemee?
Exactly. I was having such a good time with all the bad spirits.
But, Midge, there were spirits! I heard them!
Oh, just save it, Doris--! Come on! --For the clap trap of next Friday's meeting of the ladies' auxiliary.
[notices the wet floor] Very wet here.
[she and Midge leave the station]
Tell me, do I know you?
Of course you know me. I'm your nephew, Dan.
Oh, hi. Nice to meet you, Dan.
[they shake hands as Mr. Conductor appears]
Hi, Dan. Hello, Stacy. [Stacy looks at him]
[shrieks] A little man! [hides behind the information desk]
Aunt Stacy, come back! It's only Mr. Conductor!
[Mr. Conductor disappears, then reappears on the information desk; Stacy reacts]
You don't have to be afraid of me. My name is Mr. Conductor, and I've known you since you were Dan's age. I knew your parents when they were Dan's age. I live here in the signal house on that mural.
[Schemer, disguised as his attorney, approaches Stacy just after she has recovered from her amnesia]
Ah! Ah, Ma'am. Uh, Ma'am, uh, there you are. My client, Mr. Schemer, is hoping that you could re-sign this.
Yes, uh,... Your client? Ma'am? Since when do you call me ma'am?!
Uh, it's just a little joke, Jonesy,-- Miss Ma'am,-- Miss Jones.
Yeah, and it's also important to remember who your friends aren't! Who would take advantage of someone for their own, low, mean-spirited personal gains?!
[she removes Schemer's disguise]
Ouch.
[wincing, he sets off]
Uh, I take it that means you are declining my client's offer?
[Stacy ignores him; Schemer shrugs and leaves]
Ladies and gentlemen, cast and friends, Shining Time Station is proud to present... Oh. Mr. Conductor, what's your title?
Producer/director.
No, no, no, no. I mean, the title of the movie.
Oh. A Little Light Madness.
...Proud to present, A Little Light Madness, starring... starring everyone.
Can you believe Schemer? He thinks today's April Fools Day, just 'cause the kids changed the date on the calendar.
And because he's out to trick everyone, he thinks everyone's out to trick him.
Maybe one of us oughta tell Schemer he's makin' a mistake, Tex.
Go right ahead, Rex.
[in unison] Not! [laugh]
[after the prank pulled on Schemer has backfired] Stacy, we're really sorry.
We let things go too far.
Will Schemer really lose the arcade?
I don't think so. I think if we talk to Mr. King and explain what happened, everything will be all right, just as long as it doesn't happen again.
[Mr. Conductor appears]
Oh, Mr. Conductor. What do you think? Should we help Schemer?
I think so. This wasn't entirely his fault. But we better help him soon so he has time to get ready like me.
Ready for what?
For tomorrow, which is really April Fools Day. And Schemer's gonna hafta go through this all over again!
[all five laugh]
What are you doing here?
I just - was trying to protect my arcade.
[just as Schemer and Schemee celebrate the latter's victory in the race, something falls out of Schemee's pocket and clinks to the floor]
[stops] What was that?
I was wondering the same thing.
It's a lug wrench!
[picks up the wrench] It certainly is. And I bet that this lug wrench will fit Dan's bike.
Uh-oh. [to his uncle] You said to do anything to win.
Hey, when I said "anything", I did not mean "anything".
And that means you're disqualified, Schemee. And I get my nickels back.
[Schemer hands Winslow back his nickels]
That's not fair!
Fair? Schemee, not only did you break Dan's bike, but you could've caused Dan to have a serious accident. Now, is that fair?
No.
Well, I think you owe someone an apology.
But I won the race.
Hey, hey, hey! "Won the race"? I lost a pile of nickels, and more importantly than that, I lost the pride of the Schemer name.
[frowns] I'm really sorry now.
You're gonna be a lot more sorry when I get you home, take away your bike, and straighten out this curl! [drags his nephew out of the station] Now, c'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
[upon seeing the children fixated on the television sets] Holy couch potato! That's it! No more TV.
[she unplugs the sets, shutting off the televisions; the children snap out of their trances]
I quit! I quit! I quit!
You QUIT?! You can't quit, Schemer! YOU'RE FIRED!
Take us through the years...
Take us through the years...
Magic sand of time.
Magic sand of time.
Take us long ago...
Take us long ago...
When we're finished with this rhyme.
When we're finished with this rhyme.
[Mr. Conductor writes in his diary]
Dear diary, there's only one way to begin this story. Once upon a time, because it was Founder's Day, the day we celebrate the history of Shining Time Station, I was up bright and early, trying to get things ready. I shampooed the pigeons, cleaned out the wishing well, and I just begun another job.
[everybody has discovered that the baseball scoreboard had been desecrated from the spray paint]
Vandalism! Can you imagine that? Right in our own backyard!
You know, I can't understand why anyone would deface public property.
What happened?
Somebody spray-painted all over the baseball scoreboard.
Are you sure?
This is a new low for our valley.
Who would do such an awful thing?
[walks in] Hey, Stacy. Have you seen Billy?
Oh, uh... Yes, Kit. He's waiting for you at the ball park.
Thank you. [leaves the lobby]
[hands Mr. Conductor an envelope] This came in the mail for you today. It has no address on it, but I guess it's for you.
[opens the envelope] Let's see. Who could be writing to me?
[he extracts a letter from the envelope and reads it]
Oh, no. No! This can't be happening! No way!
What's the matter?
My sister's coming for a visit.
You have a sister?
Well, I know we had the same parents, and we grew up in the same house. But somewhere along the way, my little sister was raised by laughing hyenas.
Little sister? How little is she?
Oh, she's grown up now, but you never know it.
What do you mean?
Well, you see how neat and polite I am? She's messy and rude. She got away with everything when we were kids.
Like what?
One night at dinner, she took off her shoes and socks and put her feet in the mashed potatoes! UGH! Another time, she took my drawings and made paper airplanes out of them!
Well, she was younger then. She wouldn't do that now.
Oh? What about the time she threw my favorite mittens in the toilet?!
Maybe she was just trying to have some fun.
She had fun, all right. She laughed about it for weeks.
Still, it's nice when relatives come to visit, remember?
Harry, I'd like you to meet Billy, Billy Twofeathers. He took your old job-- Engineer, first-class.
[shakes hands with his successor] Hello, Billy.
Oh, I've heard a lot about you, Harry. You left some mighty big shoes to fill around this place.
Thank you, Billy!
So tell me, what you been up to?
Well, let's see. It's hard to know where to begin. For one thing,...
[in response to the ringing phone] I'll get it.
Oh, thank you, Billy.
[Billy heads for the workshop]
I'm planning on rebuilding an entire steam engine. An old favorite of mine.
It's for you, Stacy!
Oh, excuse me, Harry.
[she heads for the workshop as Billy approaches Harry]
I was just telling Stacy my plans to build an entire steam engine...
[barges into the station] Mr. Twofeathers! There's a boiler problem with engine 4. I need you to look at it right away.
No problem. Thanks, Harry. [leaves]
Yeah, yeah, yes, Billy. Yes.
[surprised] Harry, is that you?!
Yes!
[shakes hands with Harry] Welcome back, old timer!
Hello!
What have you been doing with yourself?
Well, I was just telling Billy about my plans to build...
[looks at his watch] I'm afraid that'll have to wait, old friend. I have a dozen things to do. What time do you have?
I wouldn't know.
But what happened to that gold watch that we gave you when you retired?
Well, it stopped working.
I see. Well, we'll get that fixed for you! [leaves] Nice talking to you, Harry.
Yes. Yes.
[enters and passes Harry] Hey, Harry. How ya doin'? Ah, just great. I'll talk to you later.
Schemer? Schemer? Maybe things have changed around here.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Shining Time Station pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
