The deal is 30 days. You quit drinking for 30 days.
In a row?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
How's the baby?
Oh, the baby's fine. [Sheila has a blank look on her face and sits back in her seat] Okay, okay, so what just happened? What was that?
Hmm?
What? Th-That look on your face.
Hm, what? Did I have a look?
Yeah.
[looks to the side] Oh, you know what? It was probably the look of, um, disbelief.
Okay, you lost me.
Yeah, it was disbelief in reaction to that, uh, strange little smile that crossed your face when I asked you about the baby. [Janet gives her a look] Don't even try to act like you didn't have a little smile on your sour little puss before you answered my question about the baby.
I-I don't even know why I bother to be nice to you.
[laughs] I'm sorry. Was that you being nice to me? Why don't you go to hell, Janet?
Aren't you already there?
[Sheila stops and looks at Janet. Sheila then picks up her cell phone and sends a text to Janet. Janet's cell phone rings and she picks it up]
You spelled it wrong.
[walks in] Hey!
Hey.
Hey, ladies. Wow. Fancy meeting you two here. What are the odds that the two of you be here at exactly the same time? Huh? It's really-- [laughs and pauses] I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
JSJanet & Sheila
No.
Oh, good, good. Oh, hey! Is that the new cell phone everyone's talkin' about? That's awesome! [Sean picks up Janet's cell] What's a cunf? [Sean laughs nervously, they are all silent] I, uh, just came by to say hi to the guys, so, I'm actually late so I'm gonna-- I'm gonna pick up my watch-- I left it at the, uh.. It's good to see you both. So, you look great. Both of you.
Oh, hey! I'm glad you're feeling better!
Thanks.
[Janet taps her fingers on the table and then picks up her cell phone and texts Sheila]
The correct spelling?
Furniture.
What, you want me to move stuff?
Food, furniture, smitten.
I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, I got to get this done, and I got to get out of here, so...
See, that's how it works for me. A fine Italian sofa, couple of glasses of wine, fresh handmade pasta in a white sauce, and a man that I am so begoggled by that just the sight of his ass in the right pair of jeans or a glimpse of his shoulder bursting from a short sleeve is enough to make me want to tear off all his clothes and just go. Smitten. You see...right now, that guy is you. And you leave...I'm eventually gonna find someone else, and the same goes for her. You see...you're not the only cock on this walk, brother. But still...after all the bullshit...I still get wet when I watch you or when I hear the sound of your voice. You choose me, and you know what you're getting both in and out of bed. You know how I kiss, you know how I taste...and I happen to know that you like that taste. You see...the spark and the edge on that very fine line that we ride, when you've got my legs hung hard around your hips and there's sweat and there's a hum...and there is this need, this really deep hunger that...is so deep that we could just swallow each other whole. And then evaporate in ecstasy. That all goes away. And as far as my crazy train is concerned, I'm not the one who sees my dead husband. How's he doing, by the way?
Lou, we're not putting him in the ring with Keira Knightley. We are gonna find the biggest, ugliest, meanest lesbian on this planet.
Hillary Clinton would never do this.
She's not a lesbian.
Yeah, I know, but would you fight her?
Not without weapons.
In my heaven, every man that's ever done this job and laid down his life in the line of duty, like the 343 from 9/11, they get the best seats in the house.
...
DDamien
Do you believe in heaven?
Yes, I do.
What's heaven like for you?
Free hot doughnuts on floating trays.
What about hell?
Barbra Streisand.
Is she singing?
No, she's not singing. She's alone. She's just there. She's just kinda loitering, and I'm burning up in flames. They're lickin' my body, and she's just standing there a couple yards away, just looking at me with that weird, crazed, kinda go-funny eye of hers just glarin' at me. For Hitler, she'd be singing.
Hey.
Let's go.
How you doing?
I'm tired, man...rough couple of days...But hey, you cured Colleen. That shit makes my load a hell of a lot easier, that's for sure. She's so of alcohol, you wave a bottle of mouth-wash in front of her, she starts making puky noises. But only downside...
What?
She don't forget shit no more. Gotta keep track of that.
Listen, she told me you beat Franco up pretty good, so...
I was motivated.
Yeah, but I know you were covering my ass. Don't think I don't appreciate that, thanks.
No, Tommy, look, don't thank me. You know, I feel lousy about the whole incident.
Why? You did what needed to be done.
Listen, man was not acting right, and yeah, he spoke out of term. But that doesn't excuse me for putting hands on him the way I did. You just don't do family like that, you know...
Yes, you do.
No, you don't, Tommy, you don't.
Let me explain something to you, okay? I come from a big Irish family. And I am telling you, when my brothers and I were growing up, if somebody stepped out of line, it was your responsibility to grab the son of a bitch and slap some sense into him, you know what I mean ? Knock him down, maybe kick him while he's down and then stand him back up again. I mean, that's what family is for, you know? That's what being a brother is all about, you know? It's because you love the guy, you know, and that's ... you're taking care of him. You did the right thing.
That was probably the most truly, wise thing you ever said to me. I mean, it involved beating the shit out of somebody, but...it was wise.
I'm wise in very specific areas, I guess.
So what do I do now?
You know, you go...you walk up to him and you act friendly and by that behaviour offering an olive branch, you know? And then, you know... let things happen as they will and if it feels organic you apologize.
Organic?
Did I say organic?
Sure as shit wasn't me saying it. What, you grew a va-jay-jay overnight?
Hey, I live with three women, what do you want me to do?
Black Shawn (laughing, turning his fist to Tommy) : Hey man, give me a pound brother. Black Irish.
That's the Obama fist bump, wright? Tell you what, (turning Black Shawn's fist the other way, and doing a fist bump)turn it that way, O'Bama, it's an Irish potato. (Black Shawn laughing) How's that?
Yeah.
Hey, by the way...another part of Irish family wisdom. I wouldn't turn my back on Franco for at least a couple of days.
[reading Lou's letter] Dear Tom. If you're reading this, it probably means I'm dead. It might have come as a shock to you, but I'll tell you now. I was living on borrowed time. My heart went bad a while back. I won't bore you with the details, but at this stage of the game, I'll be lucky if I finish this goddamn letter. If it wasn't my ticker that did me in, please tell me I died after eating fifteen pizzas, or during sex with either multiple women or one really big one. Either way that works for me. But seriously, I hope I went on the job doing the work I was meant to do surrounded by you and the guys. Since it was mostly about food with me, I gonna leave you guys with a recipe. Take one self-absorbed pretty boy Puerto Rican. [Off Franco's look, he points to the letter] Add one long on attitude, short on experience black guy. Then add two morons, one more stupid than the other. Mix together and let sit. Then, finally, add one battle-scarred, haunted, formerly drunken Irish asshole who screws up his life like other people breathe. Blend all the ingredients together, turn on fire, and hope for the best. Sounds like shit, doesn't it? Well, brother, I've tasted it. I've eaten it up these last few years, and it's delicious. Okay, cornball, I know. But you guys together, you have something great. Me being gone doesn't change that. Find yourself another good-looking, slightly overweight spoiler of women, and you're back at strength. Keep the crew together and keep fighting the fight. Don't worry me, Tom. I had a good life. I knew brotherhood. I knew being good at something. I knew what it meant to have a friend. Yeah, we had our ups and downs. We're in a major down mode at the moment. But with you, the ups are good enough. I'll take the downs. I love you, Tom. Not in that way. Okay, maybe a little that way. I'll always be with you. Your pal, Lou. P.S. don't forget what the bagpipers are supposed to play. If you mess up, I promise I'll haunt you forever, asshole.
[to a group of rookies like in the first episode] You are staring at the names of 343 heroes. 343 American heroes. 343 men who ran in while the entire world stood waiting and watching. First responders on the front line of a war that may never end. I want you to stare at these names. I want you to memorize them. Go home tonight, get on the Internet and look up these names. Find out who these men were and what they did on that day. And then you'll realize this ain't a job. It ain't an occupation. It's a calling! A need. A desire that you feel in your bones and your brains and your nutsack! [One husky rookie chuckles a little] What's so funny, asshole?
HRHusky Rookie
The...the nutsack thing, sir.
The what?
HRHusky Rookie
The nutsack thing! Sir...
Ah-ah-ah, did I ask you another question?! Anybody else?! I didn't think so. I know you assholes have passed the written test and you passed the physical test. But that don't mean nothing. Just a bunch of civil servant bullshit! 'Cause the real test of whether you're chickenshit or not will come the day you get to do what these men behind me did. 'Cause if you're lucky, one day soon, you'll get to run into a burning building while everybody else is running out. And you'll take the stairs, two at a time. With steel in your eyes and ice water in your veins. And you'll come back down with a civilian on each shoulder. And instead of puking or crying or pissing your pants, you'll wipe your brow and run right the hell back in. That's the day, that's the moment you're gonna find out if you're a real firefighter or just one more asshole who bit off more than he could chew. 'Cause maybe one day you run in, and the guy you ran in with, your buddy, your best friend, your cousin, your brother, maybe you come out but he don't. 'Cause he got crushed or incinerated or burned to a crisp. And you're gonna ask yourself, why did I walk away, but not him? I'll tell you one thing. The answer to that question is not at the bottom of a bottle. You can't drink or fight or screw your way to figuring out the answer to that question. People die. We're firefighters. We die a lot. I lost my buddy, my best friend, my cousin, my brother. Some people say it's God's will. I don't know. I don't even know if there is a God. I hope there is. 'Cause that would that one day, all this shit is gonna make some sense. That's all I got for you assholes. I'm gonna turn you over to one of my brothers right now, my new commanding officer, Lieutenant Franco Rivera. [Franco approaches and the two men exchange salutes] Good luck, douchebags.
[The series' last lines]
You know you're gonna have to get that fat kid as the new probie, right? I mean, none of you assholes can cook. Looks like the kid knows his way around food. You know, you could've mentioned me by name out there. You're talking about heroes and brothers, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and one more thing. When you pick a photo of me, you know, for the plaque in the firehouse, can you find something that doesn't look so chinny?
Chinny?
Yeah, get one from when I was younger and thinner.
When would that be?
Like freshman year in high school.
Really.
Yeah, I was a buck-10.
Yeah, maybe at birth.
You know, that's no way to talk to the dead. But I'm gonna let it slide since you named my godson Shea Gavin.
Pretty cool.
Very cool. Good name for a restaurant.
Or quarterback.
I'm gonna go restaurant. So are you gonna sit here staring at me or are we gonna drive someplace?
[starting the truck] Oh, right. Yeah.
Duncan Hines cake mix, huh? Well, I guess that's kind of symbolic or ironic. Not quite sure which.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Rescue Me pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.