What can I do Sarge?
I need you to run right at O'Malley.
And shank him with my shiv?
No, when he blows you up with a rocket, try to see if you can get your dismembered limbs and guts to clog the barrels of his rocket launcher.
You're kidding?
It's a remote chance, I know, but it's worth a shot.
(Catching the two behind a rock) OBLIVION IS AT HAND! HA HA!
(Points the rocket launcher at them) Cover your ears guys. This thing is really loud.
This is it!
Not so fast O'Malley! (Everyone turns to Simmons) Maybe we can't stop you, but I know who can! (A teleporter comes from nowhere, letting in the Zealot Solders)
ALRIGHT, NEW LEVEL! YEAH!
YAHOO! YAHOO! YEAH!
Hey guys, you want your flag? (All the zealots turn to Simmons) He's the one who has it! (Screen panel turns to O'Malley)
(Zealots turn to O'Malley) The crusade has begun! Our hour of glory is now at hand! Let all who would stand against us be washed in our divine light! (All the Zealots shoot at O'Malley)
NO, GET, GET AWAY FROM ME! NO, MY POWER IS DROPPING, STOP, DOWN!
We need to disarm Church's bomb Sarge.
Right.
(Church gets struck by lightning) Yow woo hoo hoo! (Reds run up to Church)
Hold still son, this will just take a second. (Sarge kneels down to Church's crotch)
Seriously, don't you ever install anything above the waist? (Sarge pops up again)
OH NO! That last lightning bolt fused the detonator! There's no way to turn this thing off!
Can you do it manually?
Impossible. I specifically designed it so I wouldn't be able to defuse it.
Why?
In case I fell into the wrong hands, and was brainwashed to help the blues.
Nice thinking Sir.
You just had to get one last ass kiss in before we die, didn't you?
("tea-bagging" O'Malley) HUP HUP HUP!
NO, NOT, THAT'S DISGUSTING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Let me try, let me try, heh heh heh, take that dude!
I'M BEING VIOLATED!!
Church, (Tucker points a rocket launcher at Church) there's only one thing I can do.
Hey, what the hell?!
There's only twenty seconds left!
If I blow you up before the bomb goes off, there's at least a small chance the rest of us will live.
But the rocket will kill me!
TEN SECONDS!
YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ANYWAY WHEN THE BOMB GOES OFF!
Hey, what can I tell you pal? Misery loves company.
FIVE SECONDS!
Sorry Church.
Aw man, this blows, you guys suck. (Tucker suddenly gets shot at the side)
WHAT THE HELL?! (Screen panel shows Agent Wyoming with a sniper)
Sorry Privet Tucker, but I always get my man. Say good bye.
Uh, guys, I hate to interrupt but, zero seconds.
Uh oh. (Church's bomb makes a series of beeps and dial noises)
What? Oh, son of a b- (Camera pans out to show the entire map, a small explosion is seen, then the camera fades to white)