"Pub." Ah, yes: a meeting place where people attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks.
“Timeslides”
In this episode: Arnold Rimmer (5), Kryten (2), Holly (2), Dave Lister (1), The Cat (1)
[reading Hitler's Diary] Things to do: Stop milk, pay papers, invade Czechoslovakia!
KRYTEN! UNPACK RACHEL AND GET OUT THE PUNCTURE REPAIR KIT!!!
[having jumped into a slide showing Hitler at Nuremburg] Ignore him, he's a complete and total nutter, and he's only got one testicle!
What is he doing? He's scuffling with Adolf Hitler. You can't just stick one on the leader of the Third Reich!
[comes back out] I nicked his briefcase!
Anything?
Got 'im.
And?
Tension Sheet, inventor of: Dave Lister, aged 17.
Damn!
And he died tragically in a plane crash, aged 98.
Ninety-eight?!
His own fault, apparently. He was making love to his fourteenth wife and he lost control of the plane.
Have you got any photographs?
(Shocked) Not of that, no!
BFBlaize Falconburger
Like many people who appear to have everything, Dave's life has been tinged with tragedy. Well, actually it hasn't, but we can only hope. Now onto Dr Bob Porkmann, father of the condom that calls you back.
Freeze. I've seen enough.
What you gonna do?
I'm going in. I'm going in to rescue him.
Holly (flatly, yeah-right mode): Rescue him.
It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard!
I'm alive! I can touch, I can feel, I can fondle - I'm alive! Don't you think it's incredible?
I AM ALI -!
What was he saying? (Lister shrugs)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Red Dwarf pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.