Barbra Jean quotes from Reba

Barbra Jean

Wow. The last time I was video-taped in a bedroom, I didn't know about it.

Barbra Jean

Kyra, there are two ways you can deal with bullies: You can either hide in a bush till they forget about you, or you can buy them presents. Oh, that reminds me Reba, I picked you up something nice at the mall.

Barbra Jean

There she is, the mother of the bride.

Reba

(crying) You were only suppose to bring the ice.

Barbra Jean

God created women to carry babies and men to carry footballs.

You are just precious.

[to Jake] Do you miss your grandpa?

Jake

I don't really remember him.

That's okay. You'll meet him again someday.

Jake

How?

Well, when you die, you'll go to Heaven and meet other people who have died. Everyone from Adam and Eve to Frank Sinatra!

Barbra Jean

I think my water broke.

Reba

Oh, no! You're sitting on my purse!

Reba

You do know that you conceived this child when Brock and I were still married.

Barbra Jean

I don't mind.

Reba

I bet he cried! Did he cry like a little school girl?

Barbra Jean

More like whimpers really. [makes whimpering sounds]

Barbra Jean

What can I do?

Reba

Well, you can stand out on the front porch and monitor the weather.

Barbra Jean

Brock got me this engagement ring. I think some old lady died and it's an antiquity.

Reba

Barbara jean that's my engagement ring!

Reba

[opens the door] Barbra Jean? Have you been standing here?

Barbra Jean

Yes! For 30 minutes.

Reba

Okay. [closes the door]

Reba

So that's why you bought a four-bedroom house! So Kyra could move in!

Brock

No! We needed a room for Henry.

Barbra Jean

And I'm thinking of turning the spare bedroom into a library!

Reba

Well, that'll be one lonely book!

Reba

Did that seem weird to you?

Barbra Jean

Yeah, why?

Reba

Because Kyra faked being sick. She's never faked being sick before! She's faked being well just so she can go to school!

Barbra Jean

Wow, I am so easily fooled. I wonder if those kids are really blind. You know, I think some of them are just lazy.

It's always the bullies, or the jocks, or preps. The nerds aren't all that friendly, either!

Barbra Jean

My whole life!

Barbra Jean

No, you can't talk to her teacher! Otherwise, you'll be smashed into a locker with chalk up your nose and duct tape in your hair!

Brock

Oh honey, I'm sorry. I wish I could've been there to protect you.

Reba

Except you were 34.