Reaper · Season 1
Now, listen to me, Ben. I am going to spit some scientific fact at you. The longer most men are in a relationship, the happier they get. The opposite is true for the lady folk, okay? So we... would just like to see you happy making a woman miserable like we're both doing.
[Sock indicates to himself and Sam.]
What is he? A serial rapist?
Wow, you go to the dark place fast.
Hey, this isn't a hook-up spot. You wanna get your jollies off, do it in the alley.
[The Devil touches the clerk's forehead, and the clerk falls unconscious.]
What did you do? Did you kill him? Is he dead?
I don't know, Sam. I'm not a doctor.
[off-camera] He's still breathing!
[rolls his eyes] Oh, thank heavens.
It's Andi. She...sort of saw me chop Jack's head off
Chicks do not want sensitive, okay? They want a bad boy. They want someone who's gonna break all the rules. Someone who will bang them on the back of a motorcycle and then not do the dishes.
Gladys, this is Andi. My girlfriend.
She doesn't seem to have any outward deformities.
Like, having horns on my head?
[glances over to Sam] I like her.
When this is all over, my boyfriend will no longer be married.
(watches Sam as he puts a "50% off" sign on a broken washing machine) Oh, he is evil like none have known before!
I scout for the Yankees in my spare time.
That cage will never work on me. It might hold a demon, but come on... I'm the man!
This is the first and last time you will ever hear me say these words, but we shouldn't be drinking tonight.
(about Heaven) It's better than Cancun...
(after Mrs. Oliver digs him out) What took you so long?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Reaper pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
