Emmett's a star.
His dick's a star. He's just the life support system.
Careful, he'll get a swelled head.
Save it for the website!
S2[Episode 207]
S2[Episode 207]
You helped Lynette with her wedding.
LSLindsay's Mother
That's different.
Why is it different?
LSLindsay's Mother
Because her wedding was real. Yours is... well, I don't know what yours is.
S2[Episode 207]
Let me see your wrist. That's a stunning watch you're wearing.
I'm not wearing a watch.
Wow, Emmett, you're really observant. He's [Ted's] got a Rolex.
S2[Episode 207]
I should warn you, my friends can be a little...
Judgemental? Bitches? Condescending?
You've met them.
S2[Episode 207]
What happens if a condom breaks, or he's flossing his teeth and his gums bleed?
Or if he shoots his load and you're bending over to tie your shoe and it accidentally flies up your ass?
S2[Episode 207]
Is that a pimple on your ass?
S2[Episode 207]
[to Justin] I want you safe. I want you around for a long time.
S2[Episode 207]
Hi, I'm Leda.
Melanie's evil ex.
And you must be the antichrist. Big fan.
S2[Episode 207]
Ever been fucked by a dyke with a dildo?
Is that an offer?
S2[Episode 207]
[about Debbie] She actually said she wished I wasn't gay!
Well, I'll always be glad that you're a big fat queer. [They kiss.] You know, she's right. You should forget Ben.
What the fuck do you know?
Let's see... I know advertising, and... you.
S2[Episode 207]
Handle it, kiss it, jerk it off, just don't fall in love with it.
S2[Episode 207]
Melanie [to Lindsay's parents]: Look, I know what you think about me. I'm the slick Jew lawyer come to shake you down for a few shackles. The dyke who corrupted your daughter. Well, you're wrong. I'm Lindsay's loving partner and Gus's adoring mother. And I know that I will never cause him the pain that you've caused her. He'll never have to wonder whether or not I love him.
S2[Episode 207]
I can honestly say that there is not one thing hear I'd put in my mouth.
That's a first.
Excuse me?
This food's the worst.
S2[Episode 208]
He wanted to diaper me.
Aw, poor baby.
S2[Episode 208]
The next guy that walks through that door is the man I'm gonna live with for the rest of my life.
[Emmett walks in]
Oh, Michael, there you are. Rent cheque's due today, sweetie.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer as Folk (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.