Queer as Folk (US) · Season 2
How's Daphne?
She and her roommates had to study. Fortunately, that’s not my problem. I went to Woodies, I let guys buy me drinks, they all wanted to fuck me. At least I still have my looks. But, I told them no; I’m saving it for you.
Aren't you a sweetheart?
So long lover boy.
I think you provide an extremely important service.
Preparing your taxes? Yeah, great, when's the last time it made you come?
1998. I got a big refund.
Internet access? 38 dollars. Adult porn site membership? 29.95.
Watching men jerk off in the comfort of your own home? Priceless.
Masturbate the possibilities.
Excuse me, I'm looking for Wonder Woman.
You found her!
We expect our students to master the traditional disciplines.
Sometimes the traditional disciplines can be handicapped, too.
[after Debbie, Mel and Lindsey have all kissed Justin] With all this kissing, you're going to turn him straight! [Brian kisses Justin.]
Oh, my God! They're gonna do it right here! [Justin and Brian go upstairs] Holy crap! They're like fucking newlyweds!
I never thought I'd live to see the day!
I think it's wonderful!
I teach Gay Studies at Carnegie Mellon.
I knew it!
You knew what?
Well with all that talk about cultural references, I knew you had to be.... a professor.
I haven't a clue what homo eroticism in literature means, I just know that the Flash looks good in tights. Um, you see, I started reading the Flash and Superman and Captain America when I was just a kid, um, at first because it was fun. I liked the stories and I liked the pictures and it was a great escape from all the shit that - sorry - the stuff, that was bugging me. And my mom didn't want me to read them. But later on when I realized that I was... later on when I realized that I was gay, I read them for a different reason. Because in ways that maybe nobody intended, these superheros were a lot like me. At work they were meek and unappreciated and they're the guys that never get laid and uh, when they're around other people they can't let anyone get too close because they're afraid that their true identities will be discovered. Yet with all of the villains and the monster and the evil forces that are trying to destroy them, somehow, they survive. Even the one thing that can kill Superman, the one thing which he has no immunity, Kryptonite, ultimately you know that he'll survive that and he'll go on to save the world. I believe the same about us. That's what the comics have shown me. That despite everything, we'll survive. And we'll win. But, back to the guys in the tights.
[about Justin] You think you've got everybody fooled, don't you? Well, not me, honey. I’ve known you too long and regrettably too well. And no matter how hard you try to deny it, I can tell you care as much about him as he cares about you, only you haven’t got the big hairy cojones to say it.
Maybe I could borrow yours?
Whatever it takes... to admit that you love him. And I know that you do, despite all your efforts to never let another heart touch yours. And that’s assuming, of course, you have one. That little persistent kid has somehow gotten in under the wire. And that’s what’s happened, huh? Now admit the truth. You love him, don’t you? [Brian looks at her, then looks away.] I thought so. Then tell him! Tell him what you could never say to Michael.
You were right. The reason I took you in was because you took a bat to the head. But it’s not the reason I want you to stay. But don’t get the idea that we’re some married couple, because we’re not. We’re not like fucking straight people, we’re not like your parents and we’re not a pair of dykes marching down the aisle in matching Vera Wang's. We’re queers, and if we’re together it’s because we want to be, not because there’s locks on our doors. So if I’m not in, assume I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing: I’m fucking. And when I come home, I’ll also be doing exactly what I want to do: coming home to you.
Okay. I want some things, too. You can fuck whoever you want, as long as it’s not twice. Same for me. And no names or numbers exchanged. And no matter where you are, no matter what you’re doing, you always come home by 2.
4.
3. And one more thing. You don’t kiss anyone on the mouth but me. [They kiss.]
[reading the personalized dedication in the book Ben gave him]To Michael, beneath whose mild-mannered appearance beats the heart of a superhero... Ben.
[Michael and Ben are kissing, Michael is undoing Ben's pants]
wait... Michael...
What for?
I just want you to know that... I'm HIV positive.
I'm so proud of you, Michael, you've turned out to be quite a man... chew your food.
I knew how to put a condom on a cucumber before I knew how to drive!
Yeah, well, I was gonna ask you out tonight, but now I'm not so sure.
Why not?
A cucumber is a lot to live up to.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer as Folk (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
