[To Ted] How do get any work done with all these hot, horny guys around you?
Yeah, if it were me I would have a permanent boner.
Thought you already did.
S2[Episode 219]
S2[Episode 219]
[Justin is in the shower and Brian steps in]
You scared me.
Relax. It's not that kind of a shower scene.
S2[Episode 219]
We just need to be honest with her.
Okay. You do it.
Me, what about you? You were there, too.
I know but you're much better at rejecting people than I am.
Excuse me?
I meant that in the highest form of praise.
S2[Episode 219]
Do you like french films?
I've never been.
Never been? Peasant!
S2[Episode 219]
It's hard enough loving one person.
But if you're the one that the other two are in love with, you can break both their hearts.
S2[Episode 219]
The unthinkable has happened.
Ted Schmidt woke one morning from fitful dreams to find himself transformed in his bed into a giant vagina.
S2[Episode 219]
I'm immune...
To penicillin? To clever literary references?
To porn!
S2[Episode 219]
Brian already is perfect.
Glad you think so.
S2[Episode 219]
Hey what size does this come in?
Twink, stud, and bear.
I'll take a... stud?
I'll take two!
S2[Episode 219]
[Ted is trying to join a threesome]
You guys are slippery!
S2[Episode 219]
Y'know something Ted Schmidt? I love you. [Kisses him]
S2[Episode 219]
Don't you guys tell each other where you're going or what you're doing?... I'm just asking!
It's not a psych ward! You don't have to sign out, call in and report our whereabouts, we've even stopped wearing those homing devices.
S2[Episode 219]
What if... there was someone else? Someone that he was seeing that you didn't know about?
What if there was?
You'd be okay with that too?
He doesn't owe me anything.
What about the truth?
S2[Episode 219]
[To Lindsay after she didn't get a strike] It's not your fault honey. He [Horvath] deliberately threw you off by making that noise.
CHCarl Horvath
What noise?
That thing you do with your throat.
CHCarl Horath
It's called breathing.
Well, knock it off.
S2[Episode 219]
I think I sprained my wrist! See how it's hanging there all limp like that?
Doesn't look that much different to me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer as Folk (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.