Debbie quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Vic

We faggots are a talented bunch. You gotta hand us that.

Debbie

Indestructible, too.

Michael

I'm right back in the same place I was before and everybody else has moved on. I feel lost, Ma.

Debbie

Oh, baby. You're not lost. You're just full of shit. [slaps Michael] You're only lost if you're alone. You are surrounded by people who love you. You'll find your way.

Michael

You're not even gay!

Debbie

Yeah, well I'm the next best thing.

Debbie

So what would make you happy? (Michael looks around)

Brian

Should we hum the theme from Jeopardy?

Emmett

[talking about Ted] Guys, he is in deep shit trouble. We need to have an intervention.

Debbie

Booze?

Brian

Crystal?

Emmett

Whipping the willy.

Brian

Schmuck. Couldn't even get a decent addiction.

Ben

Excuse me, I'm looking for Wonder Woman.

Debbie

You found her!

Brian

[after Debbie, Mel and Lindsey have all kissed Justin] With all this kissing, you're going to turn him straight! [Brian kisses Justin.]

Debbie

Oh, my God! They're gonna do it right here! [Justin and Brian go upstairs] Holy crap! They're like fucking newlyweds!

I never thought I'd live to see the day!

Lindsay

I think it's wonderful!

Debbie

[about Justin] You think you've got everybody fooled, don't you? Well, not me, honey. I’ve known you too long and regrettably too well. And no matter how hard you try to deny it, I can tell you care as much about him as he cares about you, only you haven’t got the big hairy cojones to say it.

Brian

Maybe I could borrow yours?

Debbie

Whatever it takes... to admit that you love him. And I know that you do, despite all your efforts to never let another heart touch yours. And that’s assuming, of course, you have one. That little persistent kid has somehow gotten in under the wire. And that’s what’s happened, huh? Now admit the truth. You love him, don’t you? [Brian looks at her, then looks away.] I thought so. Then tell him! Tell him what you could never say to Michael.

Justin

What can you do?

Debbie

I don't know... find out who he was.

Justin

That's what the police are for.

Debbie

Those fat fucks!

Debbie

[about Carl Horvath coming to the diner] So, what are you doing here?

It's a diner, isn't it? It's lunchtime, isn't it?

Debbie

It's a little early, isn't it? [taking Horvath's order] What will it be?

Uhm.. A meatloaf sandwich, a side of fries and how about you and me going out tomorrow night?

Debbie

Yeah, that last item isn't on the menu.

Debbie

He's not my type.

Vic

He's alive and he's got a dick. What more do you need?

Brian

[To Debbie after being yelled at by Justin and Michael] Give me a minute between rounds, then you can have a go with me.

Debbie

Article 14 in the Super-Mom-Handbook says no kicking assholes when they're down. They'd take away my halo.

Debbie

You're jealous.

Brian

I don't do jealous, jealous is for lesbians.

Debbie

Well, then you better start liking pussy.

Debbie

[To Lindsay after she didn't get a strike] It's not your fault honey. He [Horvath] deliberately threw you off by making that noise.

What noise?

Debbie

That thing you do with your throat.

It's called breathing.

Debbie

Well, knock it off.

Debbie

To the 'Liberty Balls'!

Vic

Long may they hang!