Michael quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Michael

You're so anal.

David

Lucky for you.

Brian

You should do him!

Michael

What do you mean 'do him'?

Brian

I'll give you an instruction manual.

Michael

I don't wanna be a saint. I wanna be a ruthless, heartless shit who fucks whoever he wants without conscience or remorse!

Brian

Sorry, that position has already been filled.

Michael

Jesus, Brian, your dad just died. How can you think about getting your dick sucked?

Brian

This is my grief counseling.

Michael

Wow, I forgot what it was like at your house.

Brian

Yeah, that's why I was always at yours.

Brian

Isn't that what you always wanted, Michael?

Michael

What, a drunken fuck so you wouldn't have to think about your dad? I never wanted that.

Michael

Those jeans are all worn and too tight... How come I haven't seen you in them before?

David

I only wear them when I don't have any clean clothes.

Michael

Well, you must stop doing laundry immediately.

Justin

What a night!

Brian

So how was he?

Justin

He had the greatest ass. I brought him back, I fucked him all night. My dick's gonna be sore for a week.

Brian

That's enough.

Michael

Actually I'd like to hear more.

Ted

Speak slowly and enunciate.

Justin

Ah, he gave great head. He wanted me to fuck him with my crown on. Kinda kinky. But after a while, he got really clingy. He wanted to know if he could see me again.

Brian

So, what'd you tell him?

Justin

I told him that he could see me in his dream.

Emmett

So, who's up for the Absolute Abs Contest?

Justin

[talking about Brian moving away] I love him, Michael.

Michael

I know. All the more reason to let him go.

Justin

You must not care very much.

Michael

I care more than you'll ever know.

Michael

[at the cinema] Man, when I think of all the Saturdays we spent here.

Brian

Yeah, I used to buy a ticket and let you in at the fire exit.

Michael

We never got caught!

David

Isn't it great to be in love with a guy who does everything?

Michael

Yeah... hmm... so I guess I'll just go to the beauty parlor and get my nails done!

Brian

Why do you always have to ruin everything?

Michael

Ruin? I'm saving you! Just like Toby Harper saved Captain Astro in issue 231 of Astro Comics, when Captain Astro thought that he lost all of his super powers.

Brian

God, you are so pathetic.

Michael

No, you are! Don't you see that you still have your powers? All of your powers. And you always will. Whether you're 18, or you're 30, or you're 50, or you're 100. You will always be young and you will always be beautiful. You're Brian Kinney, for fuck's sake!

Michael

I was going to tell you.

Ted

When? After you convinced us you found Paradise Lost?

Michael

When the time was right. But there's never a right time to admit that you failed.

Michael

It was awful. All those dirty minded old man staring at me and pinching my ass.

Emmett

It was fabulous. All those dirty minded old man staring at me, pinching my ass.

Michael

I'm right back in the same place I was before and everybody else has moved on. I feel lost, Ma.

Debbie

Oh, baby. You're not lost. You're just full of shit. [slaps Michael] You're only lost if you're alone. You are surrounded by people who love you. You'll find your way.