Michael quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Michael

It could be us.

Brian

No, it could not be us. Because we know better. We know not to believe pretty little blonde boys that tell you that it's really good shit. 'Cause that's what they all say. Ted didn't know that. And he didn't know that you only do drugs with your friends because they're the only one's that give a fuck about you.

Emmett

There's a lot of things we don't know about each other. Like, did you know I used to walk down the street in Hazelhurst, Mississippi and the postman would spit at me?

Michael

I don't know where my father was born. Or even who he is.

Emmett

I sat with my dead grandmother for an hour and held her hand before I told anyone she was dead. How come we never tell each other these things, huh?

Justin

Well, then, I'll go to New York. I'll become a hustler and I'll sell my body to gross old homos!

Vic

I'll give you 20 bucks. [Debbie smacks Vic] Just saving the train fare.

Justin

I'm gonna throw up, I gotta vomit!

Debbie

Upstairs bathroom. The one for guests and drama queens.

Debbie

It's not a joke, you know. Gay teens have a very high suicide rate.

Michael

Unfortunately, not this one.

Brian

I want it to be you, I'll put it in writing.

Michael

I want it to be you, too. You pull my plug!

Brian

And you pull mine.

Michael

Who's leading her on? We're counting cartons of toilet paper.

Brian

Yeah, which you can use because you're so full of shit.

Michael

You ever been on a real date?

Brian

Once. I ended up fucking the waiter.

Brian

The point of a date, or so it's been explained to me by those who do that sort of thing, is that you actually get to know the other person before you fuck them.

Michael

What a dumb idea! What if you don't like them?

Brian

Worse yet, what if you do?

David

You weren't an asshole.

Michael

Believe me, I've seen assholes and... I mean...

Michael

It was never that big.

Brian

Hey, you haven't seen it in a long time.

Michael

I haven't seen Gone With the Wind in a long time either but I know it's still 3 and a half hours.

Michael

He's not a steady. We went out twice.

Ted

Around here, that's a long term relationship.

Michael

I just don't know what you do for a whole weekend.

Emmett

Well, let's see, first you arrive.

Ted

Then you fuck.

Emmett

Then you unpack.

Ted

Then you fuck.

Emmett

And then you go berry-picking.

Ted

Then you fuck.

Michael

I mean after you fuck!

Emmett

You talk. You get to know each other.

Michael

So what is this, adopt-a-trick? First he's a one-night-stand, now he's moved in.

Brian

It's only temporary.

Michael

Until he grows up?

Brian

I know I can be shit to you sometimes, I know that. But it's only because I know that you'll always love me no matter what.

Michael

I do.

Brian

I do, too. Always have, always will.

Michael

Can we still be boyfriends?

David

We could be. But I don't want a boyfriend, Michael. I want a partner.

Brian

Tracy! I'm so happy that you could make it to Michael's surprise party. Let me introduce you to a few of our guests... David, this is Tracy, Tracy this is David.

David

Tracy, yeah we met.

Tracy

Right, you're Mike's chiropractor.

Brian

He's also his boyfriend. Excuse me, ex-boyfriend. First time they fucked, Michael came like, three times.

Brian

Mike, why don't you buy your friend Tracy a drink? Looks like she could use one... don't go yet Mikey, you haven't even had your cake!

Michael

Fuck off!