Michael quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Michael

You know we're lucky.

Brian

That our hairline hasn't started to recede?

Michael

That no matter how much you hated your parents or no matter how much my mom drives me crazy, they never tried to give us away.

Brian

Speak for yourself.

Hunter

Can't I just sleep, I was up half the night.

Michael

Doing what?

Hunter

Listening to you guys, trying to keep it down. 'Shh he'll hear us!' Next time just fuck your brains out, get it over with.

Michael

Thanks for the sex tips.

Michael

Hunter... this is Brian.

Hunter

Wanna fuck?

Brian

Nice to meet you, too.

Michael

You fucked a murderer?!

Hunter

What's the big deal? I used a condom.

Brian

Well, your safe sex lecture paid off.

Michael

He already has a boyfriend!

Hunter

You do?

Brian

In a non-defined, non-conventional way, yeah.

Michael

Why do you do it?

Hunter

I have low self-esteem, I was serialized at too early an age, it's exciting, fun, and a great way to make non-portable income.

Michael

I would like an honest answer, smart-ass!

Brian

He just gave you one.

Michael

Hey what's the line for?

To vote.

Brian

Oh, I thought they were handing out free poppers.

In case you haven't heard, there's an election.

Brian

No shit. Who's running?

Brian

My God, do you have no respect for authority? The law?

Michael

I had to do something.

Brian

So you risked it all? Mikey you are so-

Michael

Pathetic, I know.

Brian

It's like that time in 7th grade when I lean you my brand new 10-speed and you brought it back... the front fender was crushed, my seat was torn-

Michael

I was hit by a bus!

I'm Piston.

I'm Wolfen.

Michael

I'm... Dumpling.

Ted

As much as I'd like to OD on chocolate-

Michael

For a change... I mean...

Michael

From now on there will be no lewd comments, no more sexual innuendo.

Hunter

So much for conversation.

Ben

I thought the gay gene provided us all with an innate ability to re-decorate, accessorize, and arrange flowers.

Michael

I think mine's recessive.

Debbie

Gratuitous man-sex is one thing, personally I don't mind it...

Michael

We know.

Debbie

But gratuitous violence, that's another story.

Ben

Actually, I don't consider it gratuitous. In fact, I'd argue that disturbing as these images may be, they are a legitimate expression of every gay man's outrage of being victimized and therefore can be justified as a passionate and uncompromising work of art.

Michael

I told Ben a lie. A big fat lie.

Brian

Okay... who'd you fuck?

Michael

No one.

Brian

Oh. Then make it quick.

Michael

I finished his book three days ago... but I told him I'm still reading it.

Brian

That's it? That's the big fat... no. A big fat lie is I won't cum in your mouth.

Emmett

Just don't cum on the sofa!