Michael quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Brian

Say somebody bashes you, nearly kills you. Does that give you the right to go out and do the same?

Ben

Of course not.

Brian

Why?

Michael

'Cause two wrongs don't make a right.

Ben

Besides, there are laws.

Brian

But what if the law failed to protect you? What if the law doesn't give a shit? Then what?

Michael

Then I guess you'd have to take the law into your own hands.

Ben

No no no... violence is never a moral option.

Brian

But doing nothing... letting someone bash your brains in, it is?... Thus, the conscience does make cowards of us all.

Michael

What the hell are you doing?

Hunter

Smoking your hidden joint, what does it look like?

Ben

Michael, we can't tell him not to do drugs if we do it ourselves.

Michael

Of course we can! That's what parenting is all about.

Michael

I'm sorry. I didn't even think about it.

Ben

Why should you? You don't have it.

Michael

They [Hunter and Ben] could die just like him and I'd be the one left to pack up their stuff and turn out the lights.

Brian

Just because they're positive doesn't mean they're gonna be the first to go. Hell, it could be you. You could step out in the street, get hit by a Mercedes compressor. So much classier than a bus. Go down to the post office to buy a stamp, get blown away by a disgruntled postal worker. In case you haven't noticed these days, they're all disgruntled.

Michael

I just get scared of the thought of being alone.

Brian

That's how we all came in. That's how we're all going out.

Michael

It means I get to sit around a dressing room with a bunch of ladies parading around in their girdles and bras, telling her which outfit looks best.

Ben

Judging from TV, I thought that's one of the few things we queers were good for.

Michael

Holy shoot! Did you check out the dick on this kid?!

Melanie

Or not.

Lindsay

That's the umbilical cord!

Melanie

Something tells me a princess is on the way.

Michael

Well it's okay with me if he's gay.

Michael

Hey, where have you been? I need those panels so I can come up with some dialogue for the evil anal probes.

Justin

How about up your ass?

Michael

You can't open someone Else's mail. It's a federal offense!

Hunter

I can see it now... I'm on death row waiting lethal injection. This mass murderer who killed 48 babies and ate them asks me what I'm being executed for. I say, "opening Ben's letter."

Michael

Jesus, what happened to you?

Brian

Chernobyl.

Michael

You think you can kick me out of here the way you did Justin? And for what? Trying not to let on that he knew? Because that's the way you wanted it. He deserves to know. He's your lover. Your partner, whether you want to admit it or not. And sick or not, that's a fucking shitty way to treat him!

Brian

I was only trying to make it easier.

Michael

By never seeing him again?

Brian

He would have left sooner or later anyway, might as well be sooner!

Michael

[Hunter comes into the Comic book store] Well, look who it is! Come to shoot the breeze, a heart to heart, spend a little quality time with your dashing young dad?

Hunter

I need 20 bucks.

Michael

I knew it. What do you want it for?

Hunter

My upwardly mobile lifestyle; being a teenager's expensive.

Michael

Well, you should have thought of that before you became one.

Ben

I wish I had a boyfriend when I was your age.

Michael

All those missed blow jobs.

Hunter

Look, I don't have a boyfriend, okay?

Michael

What do you mean, you told me...

Hunter

I told you I had a friend. I didn't say it was a boy.