Brian quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Brian

I'll bring a bottle.

Michael

Red would be nice.

Brian

I meant poppers.

Justin

It's amazing.

Brian

That I've been soaping your crack for the past ten minutes and you haven't asked me to fuck you?

Brian

I'm not being cynical, I'm being--

Brian

Do you mind if I finish my own sentences? I despise when couples do that.

Justin

Huh, did you hear that rubby ducky? He said couples. I should quit while I'm ahead.

Brian

Not before you give me some, Mon Amour.

Justin

Mon Amour? I love how other people's tragic marital plight makes you romantic.

Brian

Hard.

Justin

Christ. What a big boner.

Brian

All the better--

Justin

To fuck me with?

Brian

What did I just warn you about--

Justin

About finishing each other's sentences.

Which one of you is the gardener and which one of you is the chef?

Justin

I really like cooking.

Brian

And I love planting my seed in some hole... in the ground.

Brian

Come on, fellas. Don't tell me that after - how many did you say - 10 years together, you haven't had a little extra-marital ass?

Actually, we never have. It's called being in a mature, loving relationship.

Brian

That's called being dead.

Brian

Hey champ.

Hunter

Fuck you.

Brian

It appears being straight doesn't agree with the lad.

It looks like you've picked up a case of Syphilis.

Brian

Syphilis? But that's so 80s... 1880s.

You'll need to lay off the sex for a couple of days.

Brian

A couple of days?

I realize for you that's the equivalent of the time it took for the creation of the universe, but I have the utmost faith. You'll pull it off.

Brian

That's pretty much all you've left for me to do.

Justin

I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner considering where your dick's been.

Brian

Excuse me but you haven't exactly been a saint yourself. In fact, I might have even gotten it from you.

Brian

You know, I thought one of the benefits of marriage - besides getting to have sex with the same person for the rest of your natural born life - was being able to let yourself go.

Ben

I'm sure you'll be pleased to know Michael and I still enjoy looking good for each other.

Brian

You still look?

Ben

Not everyone regards marriage and monogamy as a death sentence. For some of us, they're simply a part of growing up.

Brian

You mean giving up. Surrendering to the straight world's conception of what it means to be a man.

Ben

Can't be Peter Pan forever.

Brian

You can try.

Brian

Well I may not have stopped Michael from becoming one of the step ford fags, but at least I saved Justin from a fate worse than being a heterosexual.

Ben

And what is that?

Brian

An imitation heterosexual.

Ben

Aren't you going after your prey?

Brian

I'd love to professor. But, still got another 24 hours until the Syphilis clears up.

Brian

Flying solo?

Emmett

Not everyone's as lucky as you to be in a... non-relationship.

Brian

[practicing] Ted you look fabulous. Ted, you look... Ted, you look fabulous. Ted, you look-

Emmett

Here he is! Here he is!

Brian

Oh my God, he really does look fabulous.

Emmett

These are my fans. They adore me.

Brian

Because you're so cute. Do you think they'd still adore you if they knew you took it up the ass? And liked it?