Brian quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Michael

You're not seriously--?

Brian

Yes I am. Seriously!

Ben

But you're seriously injured!

Brian

Can we stop using the word 'seriously'?

Vic

By the way, I happen to agree with you. I was damn lucky to get those four extra years. Sure, I'd have liked more. Who wouldn't? But you're going to have a lot more than that.

Brian

Did God tell you that?

Vic

Actually, he told Judy and she told me.

Brian

Judy?

Vic

Garland. They're like this [crosses fingers].

Brian

You mean, God's a...?

Vic

You didn't hear it from me.

Brian

[after asking Justin to move back in with him] And as for the times when you're not around... I wouldn't particularly mind it if you were.

Justin

I've been waiting for you to ask me that since the first night you brought me here.

Michael

You know what amazes me?

Brian

What, dear?

Michael

Outside a child is born, a man dies, a couple gets married.

Brian

The ever-changing kaleidoscope of life.

Michael

In here... nothing changes. Everything's the same. Same hot guys. Same thumps-thumpa. Same shaved chest.

Brian

And what a comfort it is to know.

Michael

But it's all a lie. An illusion. Just cheap theatrics.

Brian

Nevertheless, let's - keep - dancing.

Ted

You think I'm fat?!

Brian

Well, let's put it this way; if you start singing, it's all over.

Brian

Could you imagine eating pussy, the same pussy, for 10 years?

Michael

No, but I don't suppose they could fathom sucking the same cock.

Brian

That makes three of us.

Michael

Unless it's Justin's.

Brian

I haven't had this much fun with a toy since my erector set.

Emmett

My parents couldn't afford an erector set. So I decided to play with the one God gave me.

Brian

[About Gus's toy train] You see the chew-choo go around the tracks, sonny boy? Sure is fun, but after a while it gets monotonous and predictable, and that's when we throw off the shackles of convention and relinquish control, and cause senseless, tragic, DISASTER! [Train falls off the tracks.]

Brian, what are you doing?

Brian

Just teaching my son how to have fun...

Brian

When did you change?

Michael

What?

Brian

When did you become this pious sanctimonious judgemental twit?

Michael

The point is not when did I change, the point is why haven't you?

Brian

Sunshine, how did I ever get along without you?

Justin

You didn't.

Brian

Why don't you do a little work instead of counting who's had work done?

Ted

And the point of that would be?

Justin

To keep your body, mind, and spirit healthy and in shape. Of course, I personally don't need it. I only do this so guys can check out my ass.

Ted

They hired you because they didn't want some stiff straight guy who looks like he has a poker up his ass.

Brian

They wanted some gay guy who looked like he had a fist up his ass.

Michael

Fuck off.

Brian

Nice to see you too.

How long have you guys been together?

Justin

[Brian and Justin speak at the same time] Four years.

Brian

Four weeks.

Michael

I'll make you a deal. I'll come check out your new place if you come check out ours.

Brian

Just like when we showed each other our dicks.