What is the most aggressive animal?
RWRuby Wax
My mother.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
The rhino’s not the least bit aggressive.
Not a mammal, either.
A rhino is a mammal, yes.
Is it? I thought it was a dinosaur.
[The audience laughs.]
Why’s is called a rhinosaurus then, if it’s not a dinosaur?
Because it’s...not.
What do you mean ‘because it’s not’? It’s called a rhinosaurus. That’s what dinosaurs are called.
It’s a noceros, isn’t it?
Rhinoceros.
Rhinoceros. Have you been calling it a rhinosaurus?
Yeah.
There’s a problem.
I might be an idiot, but I’m an accurate idiot.
[Watching a video of a hagfish releasing slime.]
I think my baby daughter might be a hagfish. Cos that’s nothing. To be honest with you, I’ve got that on my trousers every morning.
And someone who doesn’t even know the meaning of the word lugubrious, Alan Davies.
That’s true.
[On what would make Britain happy]
Give everyone the mental age of six.
Well, the media are working on that, aren't they?
[Applause sets off the "Pleasure Gauge"]
It's like a headline I saw in Ireland, said "Cork man drowns".
[Applause pushes the needle of the "Pleasure Gauge" into the red]
You guys are really bending the needle.
His name was Bob. [to the audience] Come on!
[Applause sets off the "Pleasure Gauge" again]
I think I've won this. I'm not gonna answer another question.
But how many friends do you have?
Just one. James Taylor.
They say that a friend will help you, uhh, a friend will come over to your house and help you move, and a good friend will help you move a body.
That's good. That's...
...I have two good friends.
[On the Dunbar number and how many friends people have on average on Facebook]
I feel quite bad for the Amish in the situation. cause they are not gonna meet people on facebook, are they? Unless we create an Amish facebook where you just write everything you know about yourself on a sheet of paper and put it in a barrel in the middle of the village. People just dip in and out of, you know. "Raised a barn today. LOL""Drank some cider ROFL"
And they have AMG: "Ach mein Gott!"
How else do you meet if you’re not on a dating site, though?
Join a group.
Join a group?
Yeah.
Yeah, you join a Facebook group with like minded people.
Oh, right.
They send you witty remarks. Eventually, you send them a photograph of your genitals.
Have we killed anyone on this show?
I...
We must try harder.
[Describing the home of a tongue-eating louse, trying to guide the panellists towards the right answer]
It is a sliding organ, a wet organ, that is…
What are you looking at me for?
I know a fact about tapeworms. Eight percent of people in this country have tapeworms, which makes them more popular than dogs.
It buries itself in the ground in the summer in that state and kind of sleeps and there are points at stake for those who can tell me what the summer version of hibernating is. Hibernating is from hiber...
Lowbernating.
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