Psych · Season 5
Oh Sheriff. Didn't expect to see you here.
I live here. What do you mean?
Of course you do. You're Randy's father. Yes, wow. You guys have Bob Barker, Doc Gooden, and Randy Jackson, all living in the same inlet town with no cars, cell phones, or internet.
Shawn, we need to pitch this to Mark Burnett!
We're not here to judge you, Mr. Barker. We came to investigate, catch bad guys and eat pie.
Not necessarily in that order.
And it hasn't been.
No.
We started with the pie.
Always.
Labradoodle!
Where?
[to Lassiter, after pulling him over] Have you been drinking, sir?
That's it!
Sir, if you don't calm down I will be forced to tase you in the face.
You don't have a taser.
[wearing a police uniform, selecting doughnuts in a store] I don't know if it's this uniform, but I've never craved doughnuts before in my life.
[to Shawn] And you... Okay, where is Mr. Guster?
Chief, I'm afraid that what we may be dealing with is an, um, I.B.S. situation. I don't know if you've seen the commercials.
I've seen the commercials.
Well, then you know it can be spotty--
[interrupting] Oh God, please, stop talking!
SQUASH THAT MELON!
And injury-free since June, when Gus broke his finger flipping the injury countdown calendar.
[After Juliet locks Shawn and Gus in the back of the police car]
That's why she let us come along, to keep tabs. That crafty little doodle pumpkin.
[teaching the PIT maneuver] Mr. Spencer, a word.
I think you might be in trouble with the teacher.
I sure hope so.
I have an educated guess... that's 100% accurate. Officer Conforth here froze like the North Pole, because when some men look danger in the eye they blink... repeatedly... like they're staring into the sun.
You do realize this is the ending to True Romance?
That was a massacre, Shawn. Everybody died!
That's not true. Christian Slater and Patty Arquette made it out alright.
And Michael Rappaport!
Good point, Dickie. I forgot about that.
Well, I'm tight with Chris, and [Gus] loves Dickie.
What?!?
[after waking up from a dream]
Oh brown snowman Gus... I think I'll miss you most of all.
I'm just getting started, you giant cockroach. You know what? That was out of line. I apologize to cockroaches everywhere, especially Jiminy Cricket, although for the first time in thirty years, it occurs to me... he might be a cricket.
Of course he's a cricket.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Psych pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
