We've managed to clear our schedules.
Wow, did Satan find somebody else to guard the gates of Hades that night?
S1 E5Slumber Party Massacre
Why isn't Mary Cherry in?
PPoppy
She said that fast-food joints breed E.Coli poisoning. She's way too much of a lady to get the lady diarrheas.
[as Gwyneth Paltrow] I'd like to thank the Academy, my hair colorist, and of course Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck and all my other beaus, whose fame and fortune I've now eclipsed.
S1 E6Truth or Consequences
Don't you ever get tired of hating me?
Sometimes, but then I remind myself that you're a liar and that you and your father are ruining my life and that pretty much gets me back on track.
Is this the part where I'm supposed to apologize because I'm a teenager and under stress and nobody understands me? I'm not gonna do that Principal Hall. Let me fill you in on my world view. My Dad cheated on my Mom and vice versa. I grew up with it. Recently, I read that over 70% of the population cheated on their taxes. I came of age in a decade ruled by a president who told the nation that he cheated in several forms. He was never punished, his popularity ratings improved. So am I sorry I cheated? Hell no, I'm not sorry. I'm the norm.
Y'all, I so admire our Miss Brooke. Even though I'm a little hurt that she won't sit with us 'cause she says we talk like crows on a telephone pole.
So, let's hit the books, my Bio-lings, because next to creating macaroni art, my favorite hobby is holding people back a grade. [chuckles]
Oh, Hey Spam.
Hey Satan.
S1 E7Queen B.
[to crowd] Good evening, I'm Nicole Julian, this year's Junior Court Homecoming Queen chairwoman. But enough about me, what do you think of my outfit?
[to Brooke] Why do you need so many products? With all the lotions and potions you use, it's a wonder your face doesn't just slide off down the drain.
Mamma, I made it. I got nominated fer Homecomin' Queen!
Well hot-digity baby girl, it's about time you win at somethin'. Ya know, Mamma here's a former Miss Texas, Miss America runner-up. You think you got what it takes to carry on the family tradition? Ya gotta huge enough head to balance that tiara on!
This lamp is going in over my dead body.
Well, fine. Glad to help you out. [to movers] Hey, Boys. Back it up slow. Brooke, there's, gonna lay under the back tires.
FGFreddy Gong
Why should we vote for you?
Well, you probably shouldn't cause my daughter has treated you like freaks, which you are...
So to make amends, here's $100 apiece.
S1 E8Tonight's the Night
JJane
I'm not going to be one of those parents that lives in denial.
Please be one of those parents.
All I need is permission from a health administrator and I can pass out condoms. Can I have your blessing?
NGNurse Glass
Sorry, troublemaker. I'm sucking the Mercury right out of your rule-breaking thermometer. See, I've taken the temperature of your little pro-sex plan and I'm throwing down a big ol' bucket of ice chips.
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