A character in Party Down
Played by Ryan Hansen
Party Down · 33 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Party Down: in 5 of its 33 quotes
Most scenes with: Ron Donald (2)
Kyle[about Rick Fox] Dude that tall, I bet his dick's like two feet long. Probably like fucking a handsome giraffe. I mean, he could be in one room fucking her and in the other room reading a magazine. I bet when he gets a boner, it's it's like half a hula hoop.
[Constance has overheard a party guest make an un-PC joke]
KyleFucking intolerance blows! [Constance prepares to spit] Woah, what are we doing here?
I am going to spit on all the appetizers because I can't remember which ones he was eating.
KyleNo, you know what: there's other things we can do than spitting.
Like what? [disappointed] I love spitting.
KyleYou know, acting is like crime. But instead of using guns or clubs, I assault you with emotions.
Or even knives.
Death is not the end, I can tell you that one for sure. When my friend Peg's fiancée got shot, he haunted her apartment.
KyleWoah, he got shot?
Hunting accident. Yeah. Randy had this t-shirt with a big eagle on it, and he came through the bushes, and Peg just... [imitates shotgun firing]
...There's an eagle season?
Duck. But, you know, you see wings, you just react. But let me tell you something: Randy haunted her plumbing until she had to move to a different unit. [shivers]
What don't you understand? It's crystal clear. Ron Donald Do's, okay? The 4 P's and 1 B. Politeness, Professionalism, Perfectionism, Proactive, Be on time.
I have a proactive suggestion. [goes to white board]
KyleYou-you know what, I think we get the system.
Okay, then what don't you understand, Kyle? [to Roman] What are you doing? Don't do that. Don't—
"Punctuality."
What? No! Don't do that!
Now it's 5 P's.
No! I already have 4 P's. That's an RDD.
That's a Ron Donald Do?
No, a Ron Donald Don'ts. "Failure to politeness."
This is so confusing, Ron.
KyleYou know what I don't get? Who says you get to be boss?
I do. As boss I have that authority.
KyleYou can't do that.
Yeah, I can, and I did.
KyleOkay, well, hey guys, guess what? I'm the boss now.
You can't do that because you're not the boss. You know, can I finish please? Three RDDs, I dock your pay.
You can't do that, Ron.
I can too! And Roman, that's an RDD.
A Do? This is the dumbest fucking strategy for productivity. [Henry enters]
KyleHenry, is Ron really the boss?
Yeah, Ron's in charge, everybody.
See? Not that what he says matters.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Party Down pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
