Roman DeBeers quotes from Party Down

Roman

Hey, Ronald, I'm gonna go river boating on the Mississippi. I need something to measure depth. Can I borrow your dick?

Ron

[pointing at the Powerpoint presentation of their host] Hey Roman, Google me in ten years, that's going to be me.

Roman

The only way I'm Googling you in ten years is if you get very creative in the way that you kill yourself.

Ron

I wanna show Mr. Stiltskin what true professionalism looks like.

Roman

Like fucking ass-clown? I feel like Lou Ferrigno in this motherfucker.

Henry

We look like we're in the gay secret service or something.

Constance

Rick Fox, he's the guest speaker.

Roman

On what topic? How the wealth I made from my pituitary abnormality relates to your dipshit corporate hell?

This is going to be absolutely magical...

Roman

I believe you mean absolutely gay.

Don't be such a homophobe. Nothing gay about a gay wedding.

That's gonna be strike one. One more and I'm gonna report you to Alan Duk.

Roman

You know there are three strikes in baseball.

Well, this isn't fucking baseball, weasel face! It's catering!

Ron

What don't you understand? It's crystal clear. Ron Donald Do's, okay? The 4 P's and 1 B. Politeness, Professionalism, Perfectionism, Proactive, Be on time.

Roman

I have a proactive suggestion. [goes to white board]

Kyle

You-you know what, I think we get the system.

Ron

Okay, then what don't you understand, Kyle? [to Roman] What are you doing? Don't do that. Don't—

Roman

"Punctuality."

Ron

What? No! Don't do that!

Roman

Now it's 5 P's.

Ron

No! I already have 4 P's. That's an RDD.

Roman

That's a Ron Donald Do?

Ron

No, a Ron Donald Don'ts. "Failure to politeness."

Roman

This is so confusing, Ron.

Kyle

You know what I don't get? Who says you get to be boss?

Ron

I do. As boss I have that authority.

Kyle

You can't do that.

Ron

Yeah, I can, and I did.

Kyle

Okay, well, hey guys, guess what? I'm the boss now.

Ron

You can't do that because you're not the boss. You know, can I finish please? Three RDDs, I dock your pay.

Roman

You can't do that, Ron.

Ron

I can too! And Roman, that's an RDD.

Roman

A Do? This is the dumbest fucking strategy for productivity. [Henry enters]

Kyle

Henry, is Ron really the boss?

Henry

Yeah, Ron's in charge, everybody.

Ron

See? Not that what he says matters.