Hector Cruz quotes from Ozzy & Drix

Ellen

Excuse me, but are you the aliens?

Drix

Actually, the aliens were the ones that brought us here.

Ozzy

Well, well, well, a lady mayor. At last, a public server I can relate to.

Ellen

[pushes Ozzy away] Cool down, blue boy. I'm your legal council, Ellen Patella. [shows Ozzy her card] I brought some papers for you to sign. Now, if we work fast, maybe I can get you spleen card.

Ozzy

What, a spleen card?! I ain't workin' in no stinkin' speen!

Ellen

It's either that or spit detail.

Ozzy

Uno momento! Maybe you're not gettin' this picture. You're talkin' to Osmosis Jones here! White blood cell, police legend, and number one germinator from the City of Frank! I don't need no lawyer and no spit job! All I need's the next flight outta here!

Drix

[sees a screen showing Hector brushing his teeth] My word, what is that?

Ellen

That's the Eye Channel. It shows us everything what Hector sees.

Drix

Really. What a handsome young man.

Ellen

That's Hector Cruz.

Mrs. Cruz

Honey, breakfast is ready!

Hector

Be right there, Mom!

Ellen

He's thirteen.

Drix

No wonder the city's unpolluted.

Ozzy

Y'know, he looks a lot like Frank when Frank was that age.

Drix

No!

Ozzy

Yeah! I've seen the photos in Frank's memory banks. Kinda used to be in good shape.

Drix

What happened?

Ozzy

Fast food, late nights, smokin'. It all started goin' downhill around this age. I mean, I was just a small blood cell back then. I didn't know what was happenin'.

Drix

It occurs to me, Ozzy, considering our... situation and all, that perhaps we might be more useful in Hector.

Ozzy

And what?! Start all over again?! Are those fruity bubbles backin' into your brain?!

Drix

No, all I am saying is this could be a chance to help give someone a clean start. With our knowledge, we...

Ozzy

Hold on.

Drix

What?

Ozzy

I don't think he feels good.

I rushed over as soon as I got the number! Sir, he's already at 98.8.

Actually, .82. A small fever, but nonetheless...

Mayor Spryman

I don't care! He's going to Jackie Desoto's party tonight, and that's that! It's Hector's first teen party, and Christine Kolchuck from French class is gonna be there.

Ozzy

Are you brain cells or brain-dead cells?

Jones...

Ozzy

If Hector's gettin' sick, you should make him rest and drink lots of fluids, not listenin' to this fool!

Jones! This is our mayor, Paul Spryman.

Ozzy

[after staring at Spryman] You're pullin' my membrane!

How embarrassing would it be if they found bugs in your hair!

Hector

Yeah, gross! That'd be worse than taking your sister to the prom!

It's a cool dog. I wonder whose it is.

Hector

No color or anything. I guess he's a stray. [the dog jumps up and licks his face]

Hector, my man, looks like you got yourself a free dog. Score!

Hector

I'm gonna call him... Uno.

Okay, why?

Hector

'Cause he's number one.

Uh, well, don't look now, but I think he just did number one on your shoes.

Hector

Uno! [Uno jumps up and licks his face again]

Mrs. Cruz

Oh, poor baby!

Hector

Mom, I'm 13!

Mrs. Cruz

Hector, I'm afraid you're allergic to the dog. [leads Uno into the backyard]

Hector

Allergic? No. Hey, I'm totally fine.

Mrs. Cruz

I'm sorry, Hector, but it looks like we'll have to get rid of Uno.

Hector

No!

Mrs. Cruz

My friend Sue does animal rescue. I'll call her tomorrow. Don't worry. She'll find him a good home.

Mrs. Cruz

[arrives with a bouquet of flowers] Look what your dad brought home, Hector, aren't they nice? [Hector goes into another sneezing fit; his mother feels his shirt] Hector, you've got pollen all over your shirt.

Hector

Yeah. I fell in some flowers and weeds and junk on the way home.

Mrs. Cruz

Honey, you're allergic to pollen, not the dog!

Hector

I am? Does that mean...?

Mrs. Cruz

Yes! You can keep him! [lets Uno back into the house]

Hector

Uno!