[Hector swats the mosquito and a group of cells come to save Ozzy and Drix from coagulation]
Hector?! What's a Hector?
Woah! Hold the phone, lady! I didn't ask for no transfer!
Chief GluteusIs there a problem here?
Yeah, I'll say there's a problem! I got a promotion waitin' for me in the City of Frank, and I'm stuck here in no-man's land!
Chief Gluteus
Intruders, eh?
Intruders?! The only thing intrudin' here is your belt size! Now who do we have to see about gettin' outta this backwater hole?
Chief Gluteus
The Mayor.
Well, what are we waitin' for?! I want action! I want justice! I-- [the chief grabs him by his shirt] Whoa, watch the membrane!
Thanks for saving us. It was much appreciated.
[as the cells leave to see the Mayor, they are unaware that Scarlet Fever survived]
SScarlet
Hector, eh? Looks smooth like grand new. Just the place for a big bugging bacteria like me to have a fresh start.
[after Hector gets pushed by Ricky, the power in his nose shuts down, allowing Jones to escape]
Chief Gluteus
I don't want excuses. [notices Spryman exiting his office] I want him caught now!
Chief Gluteus
Oh, um, Osmosis Jones, sir. He broke out of the nose.
What?! Well, you've gotta catch him! He's gonna get in the way of my plan!
Chief Gluteus
Don't worry! We're right on his trail! By the way, what is your plan?
First, we beg Ricky for forgiveness. And then we run screaming like a frightened little girl.
Chief Gluteus
I like it!
[Ozzy goes into the Cerebral Cortex and uses a device to control Hector's movements]
Chief Gluteus
[stops Ozzy] Hold it right there!
C'mon, Chief, I'm wired for action.
Chief Gluteus
I'm not joking, Jones!
Neither am I. Just gimme a minute, he'll be okay.
Chief Gluteus
Putting Hector in the hospital is not okay!
Sorry, Chief, but I gotta do this.
[with Ozzy's help, Hector manages to scare Ricky away with his martial arts moves]
Okay, guys. The game's over. I don't want you fighting when the media shows up.
Sure. They're gonna wanna whoever came up with the idea for all those crazy moves. Naturally, I'll say it was me.
Chief Gluteus
Uh, but sir, I did most of the manipulation there.
Or I could just tell those reporters how you let Jones escape.
Chief Gluteus
Yes, sir! That's... well done.
What did I tell ya, Chief? Our mayor is one smart cell. Pauly, you're a real take-charge guy. In fact, once I get my private eye card back, I may even have more compliments for ya.
[after Drix saves Ozzy from falling into a vat of acid in Hector's iron works]
Yes, Maria, I'm at the challenge with courage and fortitude! Ozzy screamed like a little girl though.
Chief Gluteus
Jones! Do you have any idea what you've done?!
Besides stoppin' a gang of bugs from robbin' the iron works?
Those weren't ordinary bugs, Ozzy.
Chief Gluteus
They are known as... The Red Menace! They bring fever, inflammation to whatever they touch! Cell after cell falls before them in a... uh, hideous domino effect!
We were trying to capture their leader so we would find out where they would strike next.
[Mayor Spryman's limousine arrives]
Stop everything! I'm declaring a state of emergency!
Chief Gluteus
What's wrong, sir?
Hector's going to the doctor! [Ozzy, Drix, Maria, and the Chief gasp in shock] I hate doctors! Hide me!
Chief Gluteus
Well, that's it then. They'll send in a special cold war operative. This bug's way out of our league.
What?! We don't need no special agent! I can handle this Red Menace all by myself!
[Drix, Maria, the Chief, and the Mayor begin laughing at Ozzy]
[Dander chases Pauly to an alley, but Pauly turns back into his small self, which makes it look like Dander was the allergen]
Chief Gluteus
Jones! I should have known you had something to do with this mess!
Yeah, well you also should've known that that mustache makes you look like a walrus, but there ya go!
How about you boys lay off the macho junk and we figure out what happened here?
Oh, I can tell you what happened: Allergy attack! Big one!
Chief Gluteus
Allergy, huh? Any sign of the allergen?
Sorry, Drix. It's for the good of Hector. [Drix sighs] We followed the allergen's tracks, they led right to that dog.
Chief Gluteus
Right. We'll take it from here. [two cops come to take Dander]
But it isn't his fault! Wait!
Hey, you can visit him in jail.
Chief Gluteus
We don't lock dangerous animals up, Jones. We dissolve'em. Take him to the stomach acid, boys.
Dander! [the HPD drive away, taking Dander with them] I'm so sorry, boy.
Oh, I'm sorry! Are you laboring under the delusion that I WILL EVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN?!? WELL, ALLOW ME TO CORRECT THAT!! GOODBYE!!! [dashes away]
Yeah, I guess, but I still feel lower than foot fungus.
Ozzy & Drix · 35 quotes
