How dare you! Murdered my wife and buried her in the garden? I have never been so insulted in my life. You know how much I've spent on that garden! You think I'm going to dig a hole in it?
His name was Freddie Robdal. He was a mate of my dad's. My mum was having a rough time with the old man. He was very handy, if you know what I mean, with women. Not much cop when it came to men, but a hard nut with women and kids. Anyway, one day, my dad brought Freddie home, and him and my mum got on like a house on fire. They had the same taste in music and... well, everything.
He was a gentleman safe-cracker. They called him "The Raffles of Peckham". People have mentioned him before and we sounded similar. He was a connoisseur of fine wines, a gourmet, a real snappy dresser, and big-time charmer.
No. Well...at least, not when Rodney was a baby. But...when you get to 20, and your 6-year-old brother is taller than you, it makes you think, don't it? I never knew really who he was. As a youngster, I was told to call him "Uncle Fred". And then a few years back, Uncle Albert got drunk at an old folks' do... It was a wet corset contest. Anyway, he told me all about Freddie and my mum. I don't know if you noticed, but there are no photographs of my mum in this house, except for a couple of close-ups.
No. He only used to take money and things that he could sell. Then Uncle Albert told me...it was my Aunt Reenie who sorted it all after Mum's funeral. You see every picture of Mum included Freddie Robdal, and my Aunt Reenie knew that as Rodney got older, people would start to see the stimularities, so she burnt them.
(when Rodney asks if he's anything like his father, Freddie the Frog) Freddie the Frog was a professional burglar. He was disloyal to his friends. He was a womaniser, a home-breaker, a con-man, a thief, a liar, and a cheat... So no Rodney, you're nothing like him.
