Free surgeries are like sex without an orgasm.
Unless, of course, the patient's name is Blu Mondae, in which case the free surgery follows an orgasm.
S4 E7Burt Landau
S4 E8Conor McNamera
Do you know the difference between God and a surgeon? God doesn't think he's a surgeon.
At the moment, I'm grateful for every single surgery that's giving me the skill to make my son whole.
EEvetta
[to Christian] I was talking about my heartburn, dummy. I don't need no Hoover vacuum stealing my ass. Where I come from, I don't get lipo to attract a man. I eat another cherry pie and put more junk in my trunk.
This is for old times' sake. Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
EEvetta
Can I answer that one? Cause there are a few things I don't like about Driving Miss Crazy here.
GMrs. Grubman
No, you can't answer that one, Evetta. If I wanted someone with an opinion, I'd have hired Star Jones.
S4 E9Liz Cruz
I'm way past shooting for sainthood, sweetheart. God gave me a dick and I intend to glorify him by playing that organ as intensely and as often as possible.
Let's face it, Christian, not every man can appreciate the experience of a perfectly aged single malt. Smoky scent, sweet and salty taste.
Where do you get the balls to come on to me?
It's inevitable, you and I. The same refined taste, in Scotch and in women. Don't you believe in fate?
Only in Greek tragedy.
I believe in critical mass. Tipping points, tiny straws that can break camel's backs. You've been trying to show me who's boss for some time, haven't you? Well, now's your chance.
That car is worth more than $100,000.
A lottery winner once paid me 4 grand to ride my dick. That means you owe me $300,000.
Look at me, Christian. Do I seem like the cuddly type?
I want her dazzling enough that it would give my dick amnesia.
Sweetheart, you're two hours late. If you were a pizza, I'd get you for free.
Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
Just start at your head and work your way down.
I just want a little lipo and maybe some work around the eyes.
Oh yeah, that ought to do it.
Shut up, Christian.
S4 E10Merrill Bobolit
[to Merrill, referring to his prison husband] Must have been one hell of a guy. It usually takes at least six karats for a bitch to give it up like that.
Julia, Matt and I are in love. And I understand that becoming a grandmother brings up complicated feelings. But please don't make that our problem.
My eighteen-year-old son is having a child with a woman who happens to have slept with both of his fathers. There is nothing complicated about my feelings!
[to Christian]] Have you ever had a baby that someone else didn't think was theirs?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Nip/Tuck pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.