[referring to Christian] He's the only straight man I ever met who was arrogant enough to think that he could convert me. Sometimes, I hated the guy. But most of the time, I loved him.
S3 E1Momma Boone
[Referring to prolonging Momma Boone's surgery of separating her from the couch] She's not Julia, Sean. The separation can't go on forever.
[after Christian asked her to marry him] You know how many times I have fantasised about hearing you ask me that? ...And what kills me the most is that I didn't even hear the words 'I love you'.
[after walking in on Christian having sex with Kit] First you propose to me. Now you're screwing another girl. Who are you?
I'm me again, baby. I'm back.
That's the beauty of youth. There are no mistakes, just research.
S3 E2Kiki
There's really no point in having a consultation without the patient present.
FDr. Forsythe
She's a gorilla.
Well, I'm sure you're exaggerating.
What is it with you and this animal?
She is an outcast from her tribe, and she is suffering because of it. I know what that feels like.
Ok, I just want to point out that it was you who compared yourself to a gorilla, not me.
Look. Maybe Kumba can see past Kiki's scar, to her "inner beauty" -- Maybe he's not a shallow bastard like the rest of us.
FDr. Forsythe
Don't be so hard on yourself. Beauty attracts to preserve the species. In evolutionary terms, Dr. Troy, all males are bastards.
[to Matt] I don't care what kind of sex you have or with whom. But if you're so appalled by your own feelings that you deny their existence, they'll run your tight little ass for the rest of your repressed middle-brow life. Do you want a safe life or an authentic one?
S3 E3Derek, Alex, and Gary
[about Christian] If I can't offer him naked Victoria's Secret models and a case of Cristal, I'm a persona non grata on a Friday night.
My girlfriend I can handle, it's my girlfriend's girlfriend that's wiping me out.
You are my idol. How do you get up for work?
The sex isn't the exhausting part. It's the constant jockeying for position. I am trying to establish myself as the Walk of Cock here.
Three tickets for the Vin Diesel movie.
I thought we're watching Jude Law.
[rolls eyes] I'm not watching three hours of Jude Law. Doesn't he get castrated at the end of this one?
You always choose the movie. We haven't seen anything I like in the past two years.
I'm sorry the movies I like are not the cinematic masterpieces you direct, Kimber.
These 'masterpieces' grossed more in first-month DVD sales than you made the entire year last year, asshole.
[to Kit] This is all your fault. You are constantly whispering in her ear to box me out. [Edit] Kimber and I understand each other. We have a shorthand. [buys two movie tickets and storms off] Jerk each other off.
College BJ's are cute and nice. But aim a little higher.
Wake up, Christian! Our coddling and laissez-faire attitude led him to getting pissed on by a bunch of transexuals!
The Hutton Academy is not a military school. It's a disciplinary institution.
And the two plums between my legs are not balls, they're testicles.
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