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Nip/Tuck quotes

349 quotes · page 17 of 24

Nip/Tuck
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S4 E2Blu Monday

I don't think it matters. Matt's fully cooked. It's too late to change the ingredients now.

They both have physical problems that need treating. What makes his face more deserving than her tits?

And you're just a goddamn Mother Teresa, Christian.

MAMan at consult

The world we live in has a certain aesthetic, and you can't enjoy its privileges without conforming to a higher standard.

S4 E3Monica Wilder

Christian, this is classic body dysmorphic disorder. Look at yourself at the mirror, you are a model of physical perfection.

I know, but I can be better. I know I can. Would you tell a millionaire to stop making money?!

There's an epidemic of obesity in this country and it's our job to exemplify a healthy alternative.

Passing on the Key Lime Pie or that second bottle of Merlot might be a more reasonable way to set an example.

Diet? [Edit] No, Sean. We're in the quick fix biz.

So you'll give your night nurse a nose job but you won't give your partner some lunchtime lipo?

How do you get that lineation in your abs there? I've been doing a thousand crunches a week and I can't seem to get mine to pop like that.

I have protein shakes for breakfast and lunch and a light dinner, and no refined sugars. And I'm in here every day.

How do you find the time?

Well, the hour you spend watching Sports Center, I'm in here. During your forty-five minute lunch at Joe Stone Crab, I'm jogging down the Strand. Gotta make the sacrifices.

Sacrifices? You're a goddamn physical terrorist.

With the amount of high-calorie choices available to consumers these days and the enormous portions restaurants are shoving in your face, surgery is the only solution for some people.

Standing proud with your fat-ternity brother, Christian? You can't hide behind those slimming scrubs anymore, Superchub. I saw the tape.

I don't think it's appropriate to discuss your new jerk-off material over surgery.

Oh, I didn't masturbate to your sex tape, Christian. I am not a chubby-chaser.

Oh yeah? Can you still find a cooch under that gunt? [turns to Michelle, who just entered the operationg room] Michelle, can you stop contaminating the sterile environment?

You can sing whatever song you want to in front of them (Sean and Christian), but I will not let your gay-shame cost me my job. You know, I thought having a woman run this place was gonna make a big difference, but with you it's all espresso machines and fresh carpeting, Michelle. I am still working for a dick!

[referring to Conor's birth] So he was born. He won't even remember it. [Edit] Call me when your kid needs stitches or learn how to tie a Windsor knot.

S4 E4Shari Noble

Michelle is the kind of woman who wants to feel like a spider and I'm a helpless little fly caught in her web.

Do you think that you could teach me to be as full of shit as you are?

I thought lesbians didn't play games. I thought it was all about cuddling and sharing of depilatory cream.

[attempting to pick up a girl at a lesbian bar] I can munch, dive and fish better than any girl in this place. Plus I have in my possession a very life-like dildo just in case you decide to get kinky.

[After Michelle slaps him in the face for making a pass at her] Just so you know, sweetie-pie, I'm not in to S&M.

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