Kensi Blye quotes from NCIS: Los Angeles

Callen

It's comparing apples and oranges.

Sam

Lethal injection or firing squad.

Kensi

Not really fair to either of them.

Deeks

I'm just saying comparison begs to be made.

Callen

Hetty or Hunter?

Deeks

Pick your poison.

Kensi

Have you ever considered that maybe Monty just likes the sound of voices coming from the radio? That it doesn't really matter what we're listening to?

Deeks

Wait for it.

Deeks

Okay. Changing it back, buddy. Changing it back. Therapists explained it to me. Monty's uh archetypal canine subconscious...

Kensi

Okay. Stop.

Deeks

It's actually Pavlovian.

Kensi

No. You have to stop. This is getting far too weird.

Kensi

[to a pair who are trying to get surveillance tapes] Federal Agents. Stop!

Deeks

STOP!

Sam

Like she said. Federal Agents. Stop!

Deeks

Why don't they ever stop? It amazes me that they never stop.

Callen

Charlene is a 1970 Challenger Sam's been restoring for the last 10 years. It was stolen last night.

Kensi

Oh that's horrible.

Callen

Yeah, big guy's heart broken. He was up all night questioning everyone in a 2 mile radius of the storage unit. Working on that car was Sam's theraputic refuge. Honestly, I don't think he ever wanted to finish it.

Kensi

Car like that is either in a chop shop, or being driven really hard south of the border. That's not good.

Kensi

Have you guys seen Deeks?

Callen

Uh, good morning to you, too.

Kensi

Hi. Have you heard from him?

Sam

It's only 9:00.

Kensi

I know, but he was supposed to pick me up at the airport this morning and he never showed.

Callen

That's right. How was Hawaii?

Kensi

It was fine.

Sam

Meet anyone? Go to any luaus? Solve any crime?

Kensi

It was fine. Back to Deeks. I called his house number, I called his cell. No answer anywhere.

Callen

He's probably just hungover.

Sam

Or surfing.

Callen

Or he forgot.

Sam

Or all of the above.

Kensi

He has flaked on me before, and I suppose he does sleep through his alarm on a regular basis. So, yeah, you guys are right. Of course. Whatchya eating?

Callen

Bacon, eggs, mine.

Deeks

Really? That's it? No phone calls to the hospital or the morgue? I mean, I could be lying in a ditch someplace.

Kensi

What are we talking about?

Deeks

Nothing! We're talking about absolutely nothing.

Callen

Someone called into a talk radio show last night, sounded exactly like Deeks.

Kensi

Did he now? What was he calling about?

Callen

Oh, he just wanted to talk about his feelings... for a co-worker (Kensi smiles)

Kensi

Speaking of partners, where's Sam? Mr. Always 5 minutes early is late - again.

Deeks

And he's taken 3 long weekends this month.

Kensi

You know what that means?

Deeks

He's in rehearsals for an off Broadway revival of Cats.

Callen

I'll tell him you said that.

Deeks

Don't you think it's strange that Callen's a talk radio guy?

Callen

Why's that?

Deeks

I don't know. I've always kind of considered you more of a - you know a - TV static white noise type of guy.

Callen

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Deeks

Well, I am a man of mystery.

Kensi

Mystery or misery?

Hetty

The waltz was revolutionary in the late 18th century because it was the first time couples faced each other when they danced. It was a scandalous display of public intimacy.

Deeks

Public intimacy-- I like it.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

Kensi

He's stepping on me.

Deeks

That's not true. You just keep putting your feet underneath mine when I lift them.

Kensi

You know where I'm gonna put my foot?

Deeks

[Kensi enters the back of Deeks's car] Did anybody ever tell you how cute you are when you're homicidal angry?

Kensi

I'm not angry. In fact, I could slit your jugular vein 11 different ways from where I'm sitting and wouldn't lose my temper.

Deeks

I'm sorry I had to lie to you. I was protecting you.

Kensi

You were protecting me?

Deeks

Us

Kensi

Us?

Deeks

Our...Our thing

Kensi

Whoa! So there is a thing?

Hetty

Detective Deeks.

Deeks

Yes?

Hetty

The LAPD has cut its ties with NCIS. Liason duties are discontinued effective immediately... I'm sorry. [leaves]

Kensi

Wh-what does that mean?

Deeks

Hetty just fired me.

Not easy losing partners, is it?

Kensi

Partners come and go.

I wasn't always a cop, you know?

Kensi

You served as an intelligence officer for the Army, conduction several interrogations during Desert Storm.

And you just lied to my face. Partners like Deeks don't just come and go. What's the story with you and him?

Kensi

Well, if he ever decides to call me, I'll be sure to ask him.

Kensi

Hey, Nell, whatever happened to that file I asked you for? The one on the aryan low rider that Deeks shot at the park.

Nell

Oh right, um, I'm sorry I guess I forgot.

Kensi

You never forget anything, Nell.

Nell

Um, yeah. I told them this wouldn't work.

Eric

Okay, so right after you guys left Monica Lee's office, she called a pay phone located two blocks away from the LAPD Precinct. I'm seeing a dozen other incoming calls to her PDA over the past few days, all from pay phones within walking distance of the same area.

Callen

So the mole's definitely a cop or someone who works closely with them.

Sam

And he's making life way too easy for Fisk. If we don't find him, that RDX is as good as gone.

Kensi

[Entering Ops] You kept me in the dark!

Callen

Please tell me you didn't waterboard Nell.

Kensi

The guy Deeks killed this morning, he isn't dead. He's an undercover NCIS agent working out of D.C. , who, in fact, just landed in Dulles Airport alive and well. You stuck fake tattoos on him and made me believe that my partner shot an unarmed man. Why would you do that?

Sam

Had to be convincing for LAPD and Bates or else they never would have taken Deeks back.

Nell

Sorry guys.

Callen

The woman Deeks rescued is also one of ours.

Sam

The whole thing is a setup.

Kensi

That is why you stationed me and Deeks so far away from Fisk and the Aryans. The op this morning wasn't about them. It was about your ruse. I knew something was off. I knew it!

Callen

We suspected Fisk had a mole. It was a ploy to force Bates to cut ties and take Deeks back from us.

Kensi

Do you guys have any idea what I've been through today?

Sam

It was Hetty's call, Kensi.

Callen

All right. There must be other toy ponies.

Sam

You don't get it. She talks. She flaps her wings. And she responds to 30 commands.

Kensi

OH! Five more than Deeks.

Deeks

[enters] How's that? Talking about me?