[Over the short's closing screen]
We would like to apologize to all the people of Puerto Rico that we did not offend.
The Beast of Yucca Flats (movie)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 6
“The Beast of Yucca Flats” · Season 6
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (29), Mike Nelson (24), Tom Servo (20), Narrator (20), Gypsy (1)
[Over the short's closing screen]
We would like to apologize to all the people of Puerto Rico that we did not offend.
The Beast of Yucca Flats (movie)
[The opening credits roll over footage of a beaten-down shack in the middle of the desert.]
Get off my land, you credits!
. . .
[The credits reveal the film's "special guest star", Tor Johnson as the titular beast.]
Ah. Huh, I figured Tor Johnson would play the Butler.
Tor Johnson as the Beast, that's just smart casting.
[During a chase scene.]
Beautiful, just beautiful. ... Off-camera excitement the Coleman Francis way.
Kenneth Branagh's Mary Shelley's Bram Stoker's Wes Craven's Tim Burton's Beast of Yucca Flats. A Francis Ford Coppola film.
Flag on the moon. How'd it get there?
These are all just random sentences, folks.
Touch a button, things happen.
...Uh, sometimes.
Joseph Javorsky.
Rootie patootie.
A woman's purse... a man murdered... and footprints on the wasteland.
His limericks aren't very good...
Vacation time.
So... goodbye.
People travel east, west... north or south.
And some people just burrow straight down, I guess.
[Over a shot of the mountain...]
To get to the top... a man needs an airplane.
Or a giant pogo stick.
Jump from a plane, land at the top.
Or a helicopter would do. Did I say "Flag on the moon" yet?
Jaworski, Ron Jaworski. Played quarterback for the Eagles.
[A man is chased by a light plane.]
Ahh, bit of a ripoff?
Coleman steals from only the best!
A man murdered, a woman's purse.
A thin plot, endlessly restated.
Father Mackenzie, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there.
Now would be a good time for some phrases... A woman's purse. Flag on the moon. A man murdered. ...I'll check back in a moment.
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