[tearfully] They said they'd smash my bulb.
WOWoman on PA System
Major Bradbury to Communication Bridge. Major Bradbury to Communication Bridge.
GAGypsy [as the Woman]
Your Hot Pocket is ready.
CCrow
[looking at a space landscape full of different colored stars] Some people just don't know when to take down their Christmas lights.
TThor
You can drop the rifle ray.
SAServo [as Stella]
My name's not Ray, it's Stella!
I feel like I'm watching a community theater production of Guardians of the Galaxy.
[as the ship goes into hyperspace]
CCrow
Are we in hyperspace, or are we looking at a screensaver?
AAtkon
It's here on the third planet of the next solar system.
SStella
I've never been there.
SAServo [as Stella]
And my birthday's coming up. Hint, hint.
SStella
What's it like?
AAtkon
Red fogs, high winds, low gravity.
CACrow [as Stella]
Oh, it's like Delaware.
AAtkon
And the atmospheric conditions are stable. However, the entire planet is covered with ice and snow.
CACrow [as Stella]
Like Delaware.
AAtkon
And you must be extremely careful when the sun sets. The temperature drops thousands of degrees, and in an instant, everything freezes over.
CSCrow, Servo, and Jonah
Like Delaware!
TThor
Say goodbye! [fires his laser gun at Atkon, to no effect; the lasers are very low quality] What???
JAJonah [as Akton]
Your crappy effects are powerless against me.
[as Stella and Simon fight off a mob of cavemen]
Actual footage of David Hasselhoff at Comic-Con.
CACrow [as Stella]
These cavemen have kinky little skirts. It's fun!
[Akton appears, and summons a laser sword]
Oh, well now they're just openly ripping off Spaceballs.
...
SAServo [as Akton]
Thank God for my completely original weapon: the illumination sword!
Let's go board your ship, and continue on at once.
AAkton
There's no need to continue.
CCrow
Because the budget just ran out. The end! Let's go guys!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.