My Name Is Earl Season 4 quotes

Woot! Sweet Johnny!

Sweet Johnny, what are you doin'?

Endin' it. If this is my life and that's Sheila's ass, I don't wanna go on.

If we have to kill anyone I say we kill the hooker.

Patty

Why me?

Hookers die everyday. You're living off borrowed time.

Joy

I swear, sometimes it's like I married Jesus's nicer brother.

I don't care if that prize comes with a talking pet monkey. It's not worth turning myself into a pansy!

[narrating] I knew something was wrong because no self-respecting man would ever turn down a talking monkey.

Joy, was that the Halloween party where Fat Steve dressed up like the Kool-Aid guy and broke his nose trying to run through the wall? I wore a skeleton costume to that party.

Joy

What? Earl, did you do me?

If anything, you did me. I was drunk. I don't remember anything after Fat Steve going through the wall.

Joy

Sweet Jesus!

I know! I'm Dodge's father!

Joy

That explains why Dodge's moustache is starting to come in already.

Darnell

[reading the DNA results] We've got another problem.

What?

Darnell

These three DNAs match. That means it's you and the boys, which makes this one mine and it doesn't match any of those.

Joy

What does that mean?

Darnell

It means I'm not Earl Junior's father.

Joy

Now, everybody just calm down.

Randy

I already had her... not great.

Catalina

Not me, jerk, the car!