Bobby quotes from My Boys

Bobby

Dude, ideas are good. Light bulbs? Liberty? Beer? These things all started as ideas.

Hey, do you wanna see my baseball card collection? It's in my bedroom!

Bobby

That is some collection!

Yeah. I've been building it for a while.

Bobby

Hum, PJ, I just wanna say I really like you and whatever happens tonight...

Oh, Bobby. You don´t need to give me the speech, okay?

Bobby

What speech?

Oh you know, the "we will be friends anyway" speech. I know we will be friends.

Bobby

You do?

Yeah. And let's be honest, we are both grown ups here, right?

Bobby

Yeah, yeah, uhm... I guess...

What's wrong?

Bobby

Uh... I don't know, you are... you're kinda freaking me out a little bit.

Why? Oh, oh God... I´m sorry. Here, come sit down... we'll take it slower.

Bobby

Oh! That, that, that... that's freaking me out. Can you maybe not say that stuff?

What stuff?

Bobby

The guy's stuff! I mean, guys act like that. Girls say things like, uh... "Wait", "Why is this happening so fast?" or "How do I know this isn't just one night stand?"

That would be completely acting.

Bobby

Fine, but that's hot.

Okay, fine! Okay, look, Bobby... this is really happening so fast, and we don´t know each other very well, and how do I know this isn't just one night stand?

Bobby

So, you're mocking me?

Hum, a little bit.

Oh that's nice. That's nice, huh?

It is. It's really nice.

It's nice.

Nice. Nice.

Nice.

Come on, you guys, he's the new guy. He doesn't know he's not supposed to be nice around here. You'll learn. All right you drunks, let's go... Thanks again, man.

Bobby

Yeah, no problem... man.

My point wasn't that I´m not interested, I just didn't want people from work to know.

Bobby

Including me apparently. Okay, I thought you weren't interested when you said "Keep it professional". And why didn't you say what you meant?

Well, it's like we are in battle and behind the enemy lines and—

Bobby

PJ, PJ! No! No more metaphors, okay? I'm saying, I can't read minds, okay? So when you act like you barely know me in front of the guys and then you say that you don't want it to be awkward, what am I supposed to think? And my God, why is that every time I talk to you I feel like I'm a chick?

Bobby

Why don't you guys just move it a night?

Mike

Move the Decathlon? Blasphemer!

I don't know what just happened.

Bobby

Well, sometimes a man and a woman get... a special feeling.

Shut up!

Bobby

Come on, shots are on me. What do you want?

Uh, blue!

Mike

You're a good friend.

Bobby

You're a good friend too.

Mike

You're a really good friend.

Bobby

You're a really good friend.

Alright, before you two start making out can we please get back to the game!

This has been my favorite episode of Gilmore Girls.

Mike

Alright! [throws poker chip at Andy]

[in Valley Girl imitation] You guys were mad at each other, but then you got back together!

Mike

We're celebrating, Bobby got his old job back!

Bobby

Yup, pay cut and everything.

Yeah, and I'm helping him celebrate while traffic clears.

It's nine o'clock, I think traffic's clear.

It worked! Let's celebrate!

Mike

This is just the beginning. Today, The Turk Vardell Show. Tomorrow, SportsCenter.

Kenny

For two years. Then, The PJ Franklin Show. [Kenny and Mike scat an improvised theme song ending with PJ]

Brendan

Oh man, you're gonna be huge. National. I mean, you're gonna become America's sweetheart.

Bobby

Then you'll buy an enormous mansion, marry a rock star, develop a drug problem, become a recluse, disappear for a while... you know, lots of rumours that you're dead.

Mike

Then you're not! You reemerge with a brief stint on a cheesy reality show because you gotta lose the recluse weight.

Kenny

Then, you get your comeback. The New PJ Franklin Show. Same theme song! [Kenny and Mike do PJ theme song again]

Bobby

And then, it's time to write your crappy children's book, Even Unicorns Say I'm Sorry. [Kenny and Mike scat some more.]

Mike

Sweet! Oh we are totally going. Oh, there will be a ton of women there hoping to glom on to one of the sexy bachelors.

Kenny

But we're not one of 'em.

Mike

Nope, but we know one. So we hover around Brando all night and when the moment's right, bang!

Kenny

Bang!

Mike

We swoop in to snag his drunken castoffs.

[falsetto] Daddy, how did you meet Mommy? [deep voice] Well dear, Mommy was a drunken castoff.

Bobby

Yeah, see, she wanted to go home with Uncle Brando that night, but Daddy was in the right place at the right time.

Daddy, do you think I can be a drunken castoff someday?

Dare to dream, sweetie. Goodnight.

Hey, Sportin' Life, what number sexy are you?

Bobby

Uh, I'm not on the list, Trouty.

What? Interrobang? What happened? Do you photograph puffy? Were you having a bad hair day? Although, you do kind of actively pursue that. I'm phmished. Ampersand flummoxed.

Bobby

Actually, Brendan is on the list, so.

What number sexy are you?

Brendan

Thirty-seven.

[winces] Slam! No man, that's cool. I mean, the important thing is that you're all up in there swinging.