I've come to realize that almost everything in dating and relationships has a parallel to sports. Specially baseball. No. That´s probably because that´s what I do. I´m a sportswriter for the Chicago Sun Times. I cover the Cubs. It´s like for example your friends are you team. Okay that was easy.
After the third date chicks start expecting something.
Like a fourth date?
So guys, I have some, uh... yeah, I guess we can call it news... Well, I was gonna come up and say this...
You broke up with Wendy.
Yeah, how did you know?
Dude, you've broken up with her like 83 times. It was a good guess.
Yeah, it´s like either you ate a hot dog today or you broke up with Wendy.
Yeah, it´s like you played Metallica on your radio show today or you broke up with Wendy.
It´s like you broke up with Wendy today or you broke up with Wendy.
You know what I mean, right? Nothing happened.
Hum... huh.
What "huh"?
Brendan, you got a bootie-call.
What? No, I told you nothing happened. We just talked.
No I know. See, sex is the guy´s bootie-call, you got the girl bootie-call.
The girl bootie call?
Yeah, it's the most complex of all bootie-calls. You see, with the girl bootie-call she needs that emotional fix. You know, the "hold me I'm scared", "I´m so lonely here without you." The minute she finds somebody else, you're out.
Hey, do you wanna see my baseball card collection? It's in my bedroom!
That is some collection!
Yeah. I've been building it for a while.
Hum, PJ, I just wanna say I really like you and whatever happens tonight...
Oh, Bobby. You don´t need to give me the speech, okay?
What speech?
Oh you know, the "we will be friends anyway" speech. I know we will be friends.
You do?
Yeah. And let's be honest, we are both grown ups here, right?
Yeah, yeah, uhm... I guess...
What's wrong?
Uh... I don't know, you are... you're kinda freaking me out a little bit.
Why? Oh, oh God... I´m sorry. Here, come sit down... we'll take it slower.
Oh! That, that, that... that's freaking me out. Can you maybe not say that stuff?
What stuff?
The guy's stuff! I mean, guys act like that. Girls say things like, uh... "Wait", "Why is this happening so fast?" or "How do I know this isn't just one night stand?"
That would be completely acting.
Fine, but that's hot.
Okay, fine! Okay, look, Bobby... this is really happening so fast, and we don´t know each other very well, and how do I know this isn't just one night stand?
So, you're mocking me?
Hum, a little bit.
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