“Mr. Monk and the Election” · Season 3, Episode 15
In this episode: Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (4), Adrian Monk (3), Natalie Teeger (1), Lt. Randall Disher (1), Harold Krenshaw (1)
[Natalie refuses to drop out of the school board race after a sniper attack, so Capt. Stottlemeyer sets up protection.]
And I'm assigning you a bodyguard. Lieutenant... [pins "Vote Teeger" button to Randy's lapel] ...thank you for volunteering!
He's my bodyguard?!
I'm still not dropping out.
[Disher tests some lasagna Whitman brought in]
A little too much oregano, but it's not poisoned.
That's what every cook likes to hear.
[while Stottlemeyer and Monk question Harold Krenshaw, Stottlemeyer takes a bite of a coconut donut]
Now you have to eat a sugar one.
Don't want a sugar one.
Then you could take three more coconuts and two chocolate.
Or two coconuts and two glazed.
Or he could just eat all of them. That would be easier.
That's a good idea.
Or, I can do this. [He grabs the box, mashes it, then folds it in half, and pokes a hole in the middle] There. Now there's one donut. One big damn donut.
[Monk walks into Stottlemeyer's office]
[Not looking up from his desk] Don't you ever get tired of being right?
I do feel tired. More fatigued, really. I don't know if it's from being right or-
It was a rhetorical question, Monk. We might be on to something here. [Hands Monk a file] Jack Whitman. He's been sent up twice, first time for mail fraud and receiving stolen property. Lately, he's been importing rugs.
[Monk looks up from the file]
Rugs?
Yeah, rugs, from places like Chechnya, Uzbekistan. Sound familiar?
[Realizing] The shell casing and the grenade.
The Feds think that he's a major arms dealer. They raided his office six months ago. They came up empty-handed: no guns, no nothing, no paper trail. All they could get him on was tax evasion. He did five months. He just got out last Wednesday.
And two days later, he's on a roof taking shots at Natalie.
Then he joins her campaign, and then he tries to take you out?
What do you think he's after?
[Stands up] I'm not gonna find out. Let's go get him.
I can't go. You're on your own. Natalie's waiting for me downstairs. I have to go vote.
Well, that's good. You're doing your civic duty.
There's that. Also, if I don't vote, Natalie will - you know.
I know.
[Monk, Natalie, and Randy have just escaped a grenade blast]
Disher told me that you put the grenade in the refrigerator.
Oh. Yeah.
And then he said, you went back and opened it again. You just had to straighten something out, didn't you? [Monk shrugs] I'm going ask the mayor to give you a medal for what you did, and then I'm going to ask the mayor to take that medal back, because you just had to open that door.
It's a wash, isn't it?
It's a wash.
Captain, that grenade... had Russian markings on it.
Yeah I know, we found a piece of it. It was made in Chechnya. This guy must be very well connected. Whoever he is, you must be making him nervous.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
