[Monk and Stottlemeyer are examining Malcolm O'Dwyer's body]
Hey Monk? Look at this.
[Walks over] Hello.
It's the other lens. [Pause] Looks like you were right: nobody jumps after putting in just one contact lens.
Do you want to put it in this evidence bag? [He holds up the bag, which has a number 32 on it, and then, in an approximation of Natalie's voice, he says] Bag #32. Hey! 32! Thirty two! 3-2. 32! [Natalie, who is signing autographs, stops signing and walks over to confront Monk]
Mr. Monk, are you mocking me?! In public?! I don't make fun of your job!
That's because I have a real job. I'm solving a homicide here.
Well, I have a real job too. I am changing peoples' lives. I'm making them rich.
[With an authoritative tone] Oh, you are not making them rich! You're not giving them financial advice. You're just reading little numbers off little white ping pong balls! And if it wasn't you, they'd just hire some other bim- [becomes silent]
Some other what? "Bim" what?!
[Mulls it over] Bimportant person.
Mr. Monk, do- do you think I'm a bimbo?! Look, I know what I do isn't the most bimportant job on the planet, but what do I do for you?! Hand you wipes all day long? Pick up your laundry? You know people admire me now, and I admit it, I am enjoying the attention! I guess I needed it!
Yeah, uh, I'm sorry, but I can't work like this! So you're gonna have to choose.
[He gestures to himself and Stottlemeyer, and then to Natalie's fans over by the police line]
OK, then I guess I quit.
[Relieved] Thank god! Well call the station manager, and tell him to find somebody else.
No I quit you. I quit us.
[Monk's face turns to shock, and Natalie passes under the police tape and runs off, her fans following her]
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Monk quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.