[Writing a check] "Payable to... Natalie Te... ger."
[Monk starts to slowly tear the check out of his checkbook. He tears it out so slowly that Natalie is able to go to the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee and get back just as he pulls the check out and hands it to he]]
Thank you very much. [Natalie stops]
Um, excuse me, where's the rest of this? I worked Tuesday night, remember? That was overtime.
I thought you were just hanging out.
No, Mr. Monk, I wasn't "hanging out". I spent seven hours reorganizing the utensil drawer! That was a work!
But, you said it was fun. I- I distinctly remember. I said, "Isn't this fun?" And you said, "Uh-huh," so...
You mean unless I'm complaining, you're not going to pay me?! Is-is that the new rule?!
Even if I wanted to! I've already torn it out of the checkbook.
[Trying to direct Monk's hand to void her bad check] Yeah, so you just void it out. Wr-write "VOID" right here, then you just write another one!
Natalie! I can't do that. If it were up to me...
Of course it's up to you!!
I need you to use your inside voice.
What?! Oh my God!! [Screams in frustration] GOD!
I'm a little short on cash right now. But I'm good for it. You know I'm good for it. I'll make up for it. You just keep track-
Yeah I have been keeping track! It's over $1,800, Mr. Monk!
[Linda Kloster enters the room, a finger over her lip. Monk and Natalie stop and turn to face her]
LKLinda Kloster
I'm sorry. The door was open. I thought I heard screaming.
Oh, no, that's just me. I scream every payday.
LKLinda Kloster
My name is Linda Kloster, husband is Patrick Kloster.
Patrick Kloster? The chess master?
Yeah I was just reading about him. He's like some kind of supergenius, like, off the charts.
LKLinda Kloster
Yes, well, Patrick has an IQ of 180, four points higher than Albert Einstein's.
Well what can I do for you?
LKLinda Kloster
Well, it's my husband; he's gonna kill someone.
LKLinda Kloster
He talks about it. He talks about it all the time; he says he has a perfect plan and he's never gonna get caught.
Did he say who he's going to kill?
LKLinda Kloster
Yes. It's me. [Pause] He's gonna kill me.
[On the phone] Kevin, it's a restraining order! You issue 30 of them a day! No he hasn't hit her! [Pause] Yes, she's still in the house. [Pause] Because Adrian Monk told me, that's how I'm sure. [Pause] Fine, good. You sleep on it! Slams the phone down]
[To the detective in the room] Look, forget about him. Just get a cruiser out there. Park it out front until further notice.
What? You can't arrest him for anything?
Well apparently there's no law against giving your wife the willies. [Disher walks in]
Captain, we just got a call.
You'd better put down the cup.
Just tell me who called, Randy.
Just put the cup down or finish it or drink half of it.
Because you're probably gonna drop it and I'll have to clean it up... Just have a sip. How 'bout a sip? [Stottlemeyer puts his coffee cup down on the desk, and Natalie sits down in one of Stottlemeyer's chairs] Linda Kloster's dead. Her housekeeper just found her. [Stottlemeyer promptly throws his coffee cup at the window, shattering it]
I don't know. [Monk starts to head towards the door]
Let's go! We've gotta get over there!
[Monk, Natalie, Stottlemeyer and Disher arrive at the crime scene]
FFirst Detective
Hey, the cavalry is here.
Can I have the room, please?
You heard the man. He wants the room. [The cops and detectives file out of Linda Kloster's bedroom, leaving the four alone] Thank you very much. [Monk looks around, examining the body. Natalie walks over to him]
You can't blame yourself.
Yes I can. [He stops after looking around for what seem like a few more minutes. He is baffled] What did the paramedics say?
He killed her. He said he would kill her... and he did it.
Okay. There was no alarm. No one in the house; just the housekeeper and the cook. No signs of trauma or suffocation.
[Crouching by the body] Poison.
No, the housekeeper said she hadn't eaten all day: breakfast, lunch...
I don't know. [He turns, semi-addressing the body] I don't know.
[Monk, Natalie, Stottlemeyer and Disher question Patrick Kloster at the airport security office]
LDLt. Disher
According to the Vancouver police, they interrupted the match at 1:21 PM to inform you that your wife had died?
PKPatrick Kloster
That's right.
LDLt. Disher
And they said you kept playing, that you finished the match?
PKPatrick Kloster
Of course I did. That's what Linda would have wanted.
It's funny. I would have been too upset to concentrate.
PKPatrick Kloster
I was upset, Captain. That's why it took me 44 moves to win.
Your wife came to see me this morning, Mr. Kloster.
PKPatrick Kloster
Did she?
She told me that you'd been planning to kill her.
PKPatrick Kloster
My wife was an unstable woman.
She didn't seem unstable.
PKPatrick Kloster
I'm sure she was. [Turning to Stottlemeyer and Disher] What did the medical examiner say?
Yeah, she didn't look sick to me.
PKPatrick Kloster
And what medical school did you attend, Miss Teeger? My wife suffered from high blood pressure, and for most of her life, she was an alcoholic and a heavy smoker. She was also quite depressed.
And there was a $10 million life insurance policy.
PKPatrick Kloster
Well the policy was Linda's idea. I'm insured for the same amount.
What do you know about poison, Mr. Kloster?
PKPatrick Kloster
Not much. More than you, but not much. Although I am an expert on the Poison Pawn.
[Starts to write in his notebook] "Poison pawn..."
PKPatrick Kloster
Uh, that is a chess move, Lt. Disher. I'd be happy to teach it to you.
[Monk and Natalie have parked outside Patrick Kloster's house, and they are reading his books]
"In chess, as in life, creative strategies, executed with daring and precision, will allow you to overwhelm your opponent, and achieve your goal." The end, and may I say, "Thank god." [She closes the book and Monk hands her the next one]
Keep going. Here's the next one.
Oh Mr. Monk, come on! We've been reading his books all day! What good are they doing?
I'm getting into his head. He's in my head. I have to be in his head! So we're... in each other's heads. [Natalie sighs and opens the next book]
"Chess Domination, by Patrick Kloster." Well this will be the opposite of fun. [Flips to the dedication] "For my queen, Tatiana."
You don't have to read the dedication. [Flipping another page, Natalie finds a check]
Fine, sorry. What's this? Linda Kloster's check. You didn't deposit this?
But Mr. Monk, she wanted you to cash it. Mr. Monk, if you deposit this check, you can pay your staff, and when I say "staff," I mean me. [Holds the check up, long pause]
She came to me. I didn't protect her.
Mr. Monk, you did everything you could.
What about the promise I made that he wouldn't get away with it?
You--you made a promise to me, too.
[Points to the car mirror, and sees Patrick Kloster approaching] Shhh, there he is! [Monk starts to buckle his seatbelt]
He's coming! What do we do? Uh, we should kiss! No! I didn't say that! I wasn't thinking, I never said that!
