“Punkin Chunkin” quotes from Modern Family

Haley

Saying nothing is not lying, okay? It's just letting the truth speak for itself.

Alex

This is not the time for moral equivocation.

Haley

Okay, I don't know what that means, and also, don't tell me.

Alex

You're the one who's going to lose her driving privileges. I don't know why you're so calm.

Haley

All we have to do is keep it from mom until she goes to the store. Then, when she sees it, she'll assume that it happened there, which it did. So it's not really lying.

Alex

Listen to you! Are you gonna be a career criminal?

Haley

[scoffs] Oh, you sound like mom. I don't know what I'm gonna do after high school!

Phil

Hey friend. You look like you had a rough day at the office.

Luke

The stress from my job at the Robot Assassin Factory is too much to take. Aw, shoot me an aspirin, pal.

Phil

Maybe someday. But until then, try this on for size. The real HeadScratcher features 32 patent pending nogginizers that gently massage your scalp. In a soothing purr of motorized delight.

Luke

Wow. It feels great, and it looks good too. It's a real life saver.

Phil

You mean, a real Head Scratcher?

Hahahahahahhaha.

Phil

TM.

Cameron

There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not the opposite is true. You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists, well without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.