[Holds up a shirt to Curtis] Suits you.
[Swipes shirt out of Nathan's hand] Fuck off!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Holds up a skiing boot] Ski wear. Classic. Try walking ten miles to the well in these. Hey, hey, hey, who am I. [Puts on skiing goggles and does a rendition singing of a U2 song] One luhh ohh yeaahh huh huuuhh ahh... [Other community servers are just silently staring] C'mon! Okay. All right, all right, I'll give you a clue. I'm an annoying cunt!
Yeah, we know that.
I'm Bono!
[Social worker Sally walks in with Jodi] Who's that?
It's a girl I had a fight with. I got to do some restorative justice bollocks with her.
[Raises hand like a bodybuilder] Hey, Bono, yeah?
What?
I don't know why I bother.
Jodi's here. Come on.
[Alisha's holding up a dress] Suits you.
[To Kelly sitting far apart from Jodi on a couch in office] So, have you anything you'd like to say to Kelly?
JJodi
I've got nothing to say to her!
Kelly, would you like to tell Jodi why you hit her?
Yeah, 'cause if you go around saying someone's a slag, you're gonna get a slap. [Jodi sucks teeth] Is there something up your teeth?!
Okay, how are you two going to resolve this? [Nathan rollerskates past office window doing a sustained singing note with Kelly amused and Sally opens office door] Take the roller skates off! And the goggles! Take them off!
Ah, this is bullshit. We're never gonna be mates!
I heard you and Darren broke up.
JJodi
Yeah.
I heard he dumped yah. What's that about?
JJodi
What is it you?!
Let's keep things friendly!
You're better off without him. He's a rat faced glue sniffer.
Kelly.
JJodi
Are you sayin' he's got a rat face?!
Yeah, he's a proper ratty.
JJodi
[Stands up] Don't even be talking about him?!
[Stands up] What'd you care?! 'Cause he dumped yah! [Flicks off Jodi's hat who punches Kelly who headbutts Jodi]
Kelly!
JJodi
[Mindread by Kelly] You see how it feels, bitch! [To Sally manhandling her out of office] She's getting life! She headbutt me!
Just get out!
JJodi
You slut whore!
Just calm down!
[Throws chair out of office] Shut up, you twat!
Kelly!
I was trying to be nice! [Voice of thought] Yeah, I had an attitude.
I think that went pretty well.
How comes you never talk about when you got arrested?
Nothin' to talk about.
See? That just makes me more curious. C'mon. Give it up!
I was buying some coke. Me and this girl I was seeing. Sam. The police caught us.
That sucks.
I had one wrap on me. She had the rest of it. She was done for intent to supply.
What happened?
She went to prison. Six months.
Shit. Are you still with her?
Everything that was happening... it was too messy.
So... you're not with anyone?
Nah. [Alisha leans in to him] What? What?
[Stroking him] You know what. I know you want to. All I have to do is touch you.
Don't.
I could have you... any time I want.
Quit doing that, man. Leave it!
Stop being such a dick! [Alisha grabs his wrist and transforms his mental state with him grabbing her and leading her to washroom] Oh, you're so beautiful!
All right, Curtis, wait! Curtis! Curtis!
I'm always thinking of you. I just want to be with you. I know you do. Come on.
[Alisha lets go of Curtis wrist in washroom stall who reverts to his default mental state and he bursts out of washroom stall] Oh, man! That is wrong!
Don't freak out!
You can't be doing that to people!
Trust me! You enjoyed it!
That wasn't me!
But you were so up for it. You kept telling me how much you wanted to be with me.
When I want to tell you something, I'll tell you myself. You don't know what I'm feeling.
Yeah, well, I see how you look at me.
Yeah? I won't be looking at you any more.
Yes, you will.
You think 'cause you're beautiful, you can treat people any way you want?!
Yeah, that's pretty much how it works.
[Alisha bursts out of washroom] Are you alright?
Fine.
If you need someone to talk to, I'm a really good listener.
[Putting on his shirt in Alisha's room with her in bed] Right. Well. Didn't see this coming. It's just I, er... I don't usually do this kind of thing. I mean, I'm not saying you do. It's just... I don't remember us having sex. We had sex, right?
Can you just go?
Yeah. [Leaves room]
You alright?
What?
You're usually a whole lot gobbier than this.
No, I'm not.
Come on, you haven't punched me in a few hours. I'm worried about you.
I'm fine. How comes you're living in the Community Centre, anyway?
Do we have to be that intimate with each other's lives? No, I don't think so. Not so big on the sharing. I'm not getting a shag now I'm a homeless. Those Big Issue guys aren't getting any. Oh, shit! She can hear that! When are you gonna learn?!
You think because you're beautiful you can treat people anyway you want?
Yeah, that's pretty much how it works. Haven't you figured that out yet?
You're so messed up. And you don't even know it.
Hurray! It's the starlet of justice!
I was only saying that the lad that she used to go out with was a dick. I was only being nice.
Oh, yeah, you were being lovely. Right up until you threw the chair at her.
What's he doing? [talking about Nathan]
He's trying to smash the bottle with his mind... I think he's gonna shit himself.
I’ve got a power! I know it! I can feel it in my balls!
Look, we’re a bunch of young offenders and not one of us knows how to steal a car? That is pathetic.
[At vehicle boot] We're set. Let's go.
[Walks up to vehicle waving a disembodied human hand] Uh, hello? Don't you think you're forgetting something? [Throws hand onto windshield]
Jesus!
Sorry.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Misfits pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.