Men Behaving Badly · Season 6
We always said if we ended up as one of those couples who watch television in bed, we'd split up.
(still watching) Close the door quietly on your way out.
Gary, when I was away, did you sleep with a woman?
How do you mean "woman"?
A woman. You know, the ones with what you and Tony call "shirt potatoes".
Gary, if I was a girl, with a girl's bottom and everything, would you marry me?
Course, mate.
Ta, mate!
How come you can't drive, Gary?
Some people were born to drive, and some people were born to be driven.
Some people were born to be run over.
You know Felicity Kendal?
Yes.
She was deliciously pert, wasn't she?
Yes.
You know the Magic Roundabout?
Yes?
What the Hell was that all about?
You know my nephew's coming to stay.
Yeah, why can't he stay in a hotel like normal people?
Because he's 10.
Isn't there a "kiddies" hotel we could put him in?
Debs, will you do me a favour?
What?
Will you have sex with me in a tree?
(to Jonathan) So, do you like Thomas The Tank Engine? He's good, isn't he? Eh? With his face. All flat and blue.
Puff, puff.
[to Dorothy's ten-year-old nephew, Jonathan]
Grow up to be a decent member of society.
Play lots of sport.
Eat fruit, and, er, celery, and help old ladies cross the street, that sort of thing.
Mmm, except Debs' mum.
Yeah. Don't help her.
No. Hinder her.
Hinder her from crossing the street.
[calling out to Jonathan as he leaves]
And just remember, eat plenty of celery.
Yeah, and help old ladies across the street.
Yeah, except Debs' mum!
Yeah, except Debs' mum!
[Deborah's mum appears behind them]
Because she's not old!
Not old.
Not in the slightest.
In any way.
At all.
Leg it.
Gary, you must've had this sofa for 25 years.
Yeah, and my parents kept the polythene on for the first six.
It's got some horrible stains on it.
Where?
There. There. There. There.
There. Here. There.
There. There. There.
There.
Well, I can't see any.
Oh, and what's that, there?
Err.
Ooh, yeah, that is a bit worrying.
...the work thing never really gelled for you, did it?
Gelled, no. Well it's not natural is it? Man was meant to hunt, fish and forage in the open air.
Well, why aren't you doing that, then?
You know I get a bit chesty in the open air.
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