Nick quotes from McGee and Me!

[Brushing his teeth] Hello, Nick.

Go smell your socks.

Wound up a bit tight tonight, aren't we? Oh, I know. Look, kid, you watch movies like that long enough, and pretty soon they'll stick a sign on your head that says, "Dump site".

What are you, some kind of film critic or something?

Well, as a matter of fact--

You call that fun? Why don't you just stick your head in a garbage can or something?

'Cause then I'd have to room with you!

Meet me over by that Buick.

Let's just go to the theater.

That's not what Blue Fox would do.

Yeah and Blue Fox's mom wouldn't chase him around the kitchen either.

[After mom and dad hear the sound Nick opening the door while they're reading] Nicholas! Come in here! Did you go to the movies?

Yes, sir.

[sighs] Did you enjoy yourself?

[upset] No, it was awful.

Do you realize what you done?

Sit down, Nick. [Nick sits down] When your mother and I told you you couldn't go, it was for a purpose...

We were trying to protect you.

Your mind is the most important thing you have. That's why the Lord is very clear when he says "We have to be careful of what we put in it." Now whether you enjoy the movie or not is beside the point! Just by going to see it, you've put something in your mind to... to dirty it. To pollute it! It's bound to effect your life, it's garbage in, garbage out, Nicholas!

You've got scenes in your mind that you can never erase. You got pictures that... maybe with you for the rest of your life.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too, son. I want you to go to your room and give this some thought. I'll be up in a little while to talk about your punishment.

Well, you might say "We did more than talk about my punishment." And with all the extra chores I got that week, I had plenty of time to think about the things Dad said.

[sighs] I need a break.

So, are we finished?

No, "We" are not finished, I still have to haul all these boxes from the garage to the attic.

Boy! The folks riding you kinda hard, aren't they?

It could be worse. I coulda have a decision with that stupid movie again.

[laughs]

I tell ya, McGee, I'm through with watching garbage like that.

[Nodding his head] Uh-huh!

But you gotta help me, that kinda stuff's all around.

Yep, it's tough making the right choices, but, it's like I've always told ya: The road to ruin is paved with crude inventions.

Ah, inventions. Like the time you told me to use Mom's vacuum cleaner to rake the leaves?

[awkwardly] It woulda worked if you hadn't hit the sprinkler.

Or how about the time you told me to cut the sleeves off my shirt so that Mom wouldn't see the tear? Or how many times you told me to eat that raw egg?

You know, his mind really is full of garbage.

[to Phillip] Why was Derrick picking on you?

Don't tell Mrs. Harmon, but he's making me give him the answers to the geography quiz.

Figures. I guess he can't handle big words like "Ohio".

So what am I supposed to do against Derrick and the Goon Platoon?

Do? You can call Goliath-breath out, that's what! One on one! Man to man! Mano-a-mano!

Victim to mugger.

First we're munchkins. Then we're melted. Now we're waitin' on a tornado! What's next? Flying monkeys?

Alright, the number for the banquet hall is...

...on the refrigerator.

...and the number for Dr. Walter's is...

...on the refrigerator.

And if anybody calls us, you tell them that we're...

On the refrigerator!

Will you knock it off?!

You're just jealous because all you can play is the radio.

I am not jealous!

Sure! That's why you've been trying to draw that bucket of bolts all night!

Hey, I was just messing around.

Here's a little portrait I whipped up this morning over breakfast. I call it the Moaning Lisa.

It's stupendous! It's, it's fabulous! It's wonderful! Do you have any business cards? Nothing too flashy about this size but you know, with sort of a, a royal flair-

[interrupting] Hey! What about me?

Oh, very well, Nick-elangelo, proceed.

I envision a magnificent painting that will capture the creation of the entire world! And I think you will agree that, when you see my sketches, I should paint the Pristine Chapel.

[spit take, regains composure] Ahem. Perhaps we will give you a call when we paint the basement! Todd-enardo, when can you begin?.

Wait a second, this isn't my best stuff. I can do better than him!

Away with him. Away with him!

Give me another chance, I can do better. I can do better! [back to reality] I can do better!

You think you can do better than Leonardo Da Vinci, Nick?

And now our Sci-Fi Matinee, Rowanda: Queen of Venus, starring Schnooks Wheeler!

[snapping out of the daydream] I wanted to read the whole book anyway.

[disbelieving] "Schnooks Wheeler?"

Although participation was what you might call "required", no one really minded. In fact everyone kind of enjoyed it.

[to a little girl] What are you looking at, Flake?"

Well, almost everyone.

[attempting to fix one of the Christmas tree lights] Whatcha got here is a few scatterfrans with a polynine scrillblatz.

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.

So, I just reverse the gyro-stabilizers, and it's showtime. [electrocutes himself ]

Well, how's that scatterfratz?

Go peddle your eggnog.

[dressed as an angel, with working wings] So, what do you think, kid?

Very nice, if this is a non-stop flight, I hope.

I mean, what what should we do about Derrick?

Break a leg, guys.

What?

It's like "good luck".

It's like, a possibility, in this show.

If Renee's, Philip's, and my dad have all coked up some big surprise trip for us all, it's gotta be pretty spectacular. Right?

You mean like that tulip festival we went to in Michigan!