Nick quotes from McGee and Me!

[to himself] Fun? Right now the only thing that will be fun is putting this puffed up Picasso in his place, once and for all!

And so they captured, uh, what's-his-name, uh, Jim Hawkins, and y'know they just hung out.

Arr! If you don't tell me where your treasure is, I'll have your head, or my name ain't Long Underwear! [crickets chirp] I mean, uh, Long John Silver. Heh heh. What are you guys, an oil painting?

See that cloud? That's the shape of the trophy we're gonna win.

That's because Rex Rogers, who happens to be the coolest guy at Eastfield Jr. High, is gonna show me what's cool.

Whoa. Totally non-geeky!

Come Monday, every kid in school is going to be laughing at me and saying, "There goes Nick, son of the oldest living... teeny boppers."

[reading the inscription on the pencil cup Elia gave him] "to Nick, my best American friend. -Elia" Car-Carpaethia! He made this out of his model ship.

Please, I want you to have it. It's just my way of saying, "I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused".

You come down my alleyway, throwin' cans at me, you better have some kinda peace offering.

Huh?

Money, stupid!

Were there any animals? [Referring to Nick's encounter with the "crazy Indian" man living on their block.]

Yeah, there were animals everywhere, but, see—

I knew it! Did you see him eating any?

Well... he had a rabbit.

He had a rabbit! He was eating a rabbit?"

Well, it was alive.

He was eating a live rabbit?!"

Well, yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah, it was alive, whatever was left of it.

[still sweeping while a racoon splashes McGee] McGee, why don't you do something to help?

[indicating the racoon] I'd love to, old bean, but the Lone Ranger here has offered to help me bathe.

[grinning] Sure, they always wash their food before they eat it.

Right-o, they always wash their [suddenly alarmed] FOOD?! [starts screaming]

[to Nick] Congratulations, Mister Hollywood. So where's the shades?

Now why would I hide a face like this with shades?

You're right. Better get him a paper bag!

It's like I always say: "If you think you're a hotshot, watch out for gameshows with choc-o-late."

[grinning] No, It's more like, "If you don't stop making jokes so bad, watch out for a slamming sketch pad".

[reciting the ad] First, there was Dawn of the Blood Freaks. Then Day of the Blood Freaks. Then Twilight. But now, as the shadows begin to fall, it's Night of the Blood Freaks!

Absolutely not!

But, Mom!

Why would you wanna go see a gross movie like that, anyway?

'Cause he's gross!

It's not that bad. Besides, everybody else gets to go see it. Come on, please.

[to Nick] "Please" what?

[to Dad] Nicholas wants to go see a movie with Louis.

Oh sure, why not? What's it rated? Hello?

It's a real classic. Night of the Blood Freaks, part four.

[meekly] In 3-D.

No way. Absolutely not!

But, Dad!

Honey, we don't want you filling your mind with tat kind of garbage, you know that!

But, Mom!

I told you!

SHUT UP!!!!!

[shocked] Nicholas?

WELL, WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE WHO CAN'T DO ANYTHING?!?!

Nicholas.

[mockingly] "You can't do this, you can't do that!"

One more word out of you, young man.

IT'S NOT FAIR! EVERYBODY ELSE GETS TO GO SEE IT, BUT I HAVE TO SIT AROUND WITH A BUNCH OF---

[interrupting him] NICHOLAS!

THAT'S IT! Now you don't talk that way in this home. Go to your room, you're grounded!