Pete Campbell quotes from Mad Men

Pete

[about the possibility of adoption] I don't know if I could love a child that's not even related to me.

Trudy

We're not related by blood and you love me.

Pete Campbell

Come on.

Don Draper

You wanna be on vacation, Pete? 'Cause I can make that happen.

I just wanted to let you both know how honored I am with this promotion.

Roger Sterling

Help yourself... not the Stoli.

Pete Campbell

Well, as they used to say at the freshman mixer, when you get a yes, you go home.

Only, Humps, you never got one.

Pete Campbell

Let me speak to the manager.

Of the entire store?

Pete Campbell

Of the republic of dresses. Whoever can help me with this because you're falling short.

Trudy Campbell

Have you been drinking?

Pete Campbell

The whole country is drinking!

Trudy Campbell

Darling? What's wrong?

Pete Campbell

I can't tell you.

Trudy Campbell

Peter, look at me. Is there something I should know?

Pete Campbell

Trudy, no. It's nothing to do with you. (Offering his hand) Come here.

Trudy Campbell

You should talk to me. You'll feel better.

Pete Campbell

How is it that some people just walk through life dragging their lies with them, destroying everything they touch?

Trudy Campbell

Who are you talking about?

Pete Campbell

I loathe it. No-one ever knows. Except the honest people who have to pick up the pieces.

Trudy Campbell

I don't know what you're talking about, and I want to.

Pete Campbell

No you don't, and I don't want you to.

Trudy Campbell

You can tell me anything. (She moves her hand on her pregnant belly) Ooh.

Pete Campbell

What was that?

Trudy Campbell

Just a kick. He's turning over. Feel. (She places Pete's hand on her belly) Just remember, everything's good here.

Pete

[about his small office] Where am I supposed to conduct business?

Roger

In the crapper for all I care.

Pete

[about Megan] Brave words from a man on his second time around.

Don

Yeah, and if I had met her first I would've known not to throw it away.

Pete

You know, if I had told you last December that we'd be in the running for a car, you would've kissed me on the mouth.

Don

Maybe you and I should go as a couple.

Pete

[to Joan] It turns out he wanted something we weren't prepared to give. Something very unorthodox.

Pete

What would it take to make you a Queen?

Joan

I don't think you could afford it.

[at a hotel] I knew you'd show.

Pete

Because I'm pathetic?

Trudy

We're done, Peter. This is over.

Pete

You want a divorce?

Trudy

I refuse to be a failure. I don't care what you want anymore. This is how it's going to work: You will be here only when I tell you you can be here. I'm drawing a 50-mile radius around this house, and if you so much as open your fly to urinate I will destroy you. Do you understand?

Pete

You know what? You're going to go to bed alone tonight, and you're going to realize that you don't know anything for sure.

Trudy

I'll live with that.

Harry

"Broadway Joe on Broadway". Did anybody in this room think of that? I did.

Pete

What the hell is that?

Harry

It's $150,000 worth of incremental business I generated while solving a problem. And for what? So I can stand outside that door and watch you all in here?

Don

What did Dawn do?

Joan

Well, I'm almost positive...

Harry

Just keep listening to her, because she's a partner! You know what, I'm sorry my accomplishments happen in broad daylight, and I can't be given the same rewards.

Pete

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Harry

You know damn well! The next time this group is called to order, I expect to be sitting at this table. I've actually earned it.

Pete

[about Ted] Can you imagine what it does to his wife every time he takes that plane?

Peggy

I guess so.

Pete

You don't want me to to talk about his wife.

Peggy

I don't know what you're talking about.

Pete

But I do. I've seen that look.

Peggy

[pause] I know. But nothing can happen.

Pete

And he's in love with you, too.

Peggy

You're the one who's in love with him.

Pete

I could use an account, and he's been generous. At least one of us ended up important. [pause] Please tell me you don't pity me.

Peggy

I don't.

Pete

Because you really know me.

Peggy

[smiles] I do.