Joan Holloway quotes from Mad Men

Joan Holloway

He may act like he wants a secretary, but most of the time they're looking for something between a mother and a waitress. And the rest of the time, well... Go home, take a paper bag and cut some eye holes out of it. Put if over your head, look in the mirror and try and evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. And try and be honest.

Joan Holloway

Roger, if you had your way, I would be stranded in some paperweight with my legs stuck in the air.

Joan Holloway

Peggy, this isn't China. There's no money in virginity.

Joan Holloway

[to Peggy about her new job] I said congratulations, didn't I? Although, sometimes when people get what they want they realize how limited their goals were.

Joan Holloway

[to Peggy] You want to be taken seriously? Stop dressing like a little girl.

Joan Holloway

[to Roger] One day you'll lose someone who's important to you. You'll see. It's very painful.

Joan

That's life. One minute you're on top of the world. The next, some secretary is running over your foot with a lawn motor.

Joan

[to Peggy] No matter how powerful we get around here, they can still just draw a cartoon. So all you've done is prove to them that I'm a meaningless secretary, and you're another humorless bitch.

Joan

[to Don] Just once, I would like to hear you use the word "we". Because we're all rooting for you from the sidelines, hoping that you'll decide what's right for our lives!

Joan

[after trying cocaine] Ooh, that's fast! I feel like someone just gave me some very good news.

Roger Sterling

Look, I want to tell you something because you're very dear to me and I hope you understand it comes from the bottom of my damaged, damaged heart. You are the finest piece of ass I ever had and I don't care who knows it. I am so glad I got to roam those hillsides.

Joan Holloway

Stop it.

[in Japanese, about the well-endowed Joan] How does she not fall over?

Joan

Not very subtle, are they?

No, they are not.

Roger

They don't seem to give awards for what I do.

Joan

And what is that?

Roger

[about Don] Find guys like him.

Joan

You're so arrogant.

Me? What do you do around here besides walking around like you're trying to get raped?

Joan

Excuse me?

I'm not some young girl off the bus. I don't need some madame from a Shanghai whorehouse to show me the ropes.

The army makes me feel like a good man.

Joan

You're not a good man. You never were, and you know what I'm talking about.