Pete Campbell quotes from Mad Men

Pete Campbell

The president is a product. Don't forget that.

Pete Campbell

[to his wife, regarding their fertility issues] Either you make it through this thing or you keep it to yourself.

Pete Campbell

This is ridiculous. If I'm going to die, I want to die in Manhattan.

Pete

Why does it have to be like this? Why can't I get anything good all at once?

Pete Campbell

I found out yesterday that Head of Accounts is going to Kenny and his haircut.

Pete Campbell

Yes, Don saved the company. Now go get rid of half of it.

Pete

[to Don] You did what was best for you because you're impatient and childish. You had a tantrum on a full page in the New York Times.

Pete

You know what Howard? Why don't you spend Thanksgiving with her? And I'll go to your house and screw your wife.

Pete

[to Don] The conversation doesn't end just because you leave the room.

Don

Except they aren't.

That's your slogan? "You're going to die anyway. Die with us"?

Pete

Actually, it's a fairly well-established psychological principle that society has a death wish, and if we could just tap into that, the market potential is--

What the hell are you talking about? Are you insane? I'm not selling rifles here, I'm in the tobacco business! We're selling America! The Indians gave it to us, for shit's sake!

Pete Campbell

I have ideas.

Don Draper

I'm sure you do. Sterling Cooper has more failed artists and intellectuals than the Third Reich.

Roger Sterling

What you did is totally unacceptable.

Pete Campbell

I realize that.

Roger Sterling

I want you to be very clear about this: You were fired. I wanted you out. Cooper wanted you out. And you would be...if it weren't for this man. [motions to Don] He thought you deserved another chance. That's right. He fought for you.

Pete Campbell

I don't know what to say.

Roger Sterling

Say nothing. You are here because of Don Draper's largess.

Pete Campbell

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Roger Sterling

Now, I know that your generation went to college instead of serving, so I'll illuminate you. This man is your commanding officer. You live and die in his shadow. Understood?

Pete Campbell

[nods vigorously] I won't let you down, Don.

Roger Sterling

Jesus! Campbell...don't ever say that.

Pete Campbell

You ever been hunting, Peggy?

Peggy Olson

No, I don't think so.

Pete Campbell

You either have or you haven't. I went a couple of times. With my uncle. New Hampshire.

I saw my cousin shoot a rabbit by Coney Island.

Pete Campbell

It's an incredible sensation. You have to be very quiet. Take it down with the first shot or you scare it away. Then sometimes you have to go up and finish it off. Then you tie it to the bumper and go home. But do you know what I've always wanted to do? I would pick it up, throw its back legs over my shoulder, and I would drag it through the snow to this little cabin. And there, I'd hang it up between a couple of trees, cut it open, and drain it, dress it. Then I'd take my big hunting knife and I'd cut this loin right out the side. And I'd go into the cabin and there'd be this woman waiting for me. Standing by one of those old stoves with a big black pipe. And I'd hand it to her and she'd put it in a cast iron skillet and then I'd sit at the table. And she'd bring it to me. And I'd wipe my knife on my knee. And then I would eat it. While she watches.

That would be wonderful.

Pete Campbell

What are you doing? Where are you going?

Don Draper

I'm going to take care of this right now.

Pete Campbell

Is this some sort of thing like in the movies where I have a gun and you don't think I'm going to shoot you? I will shoot you.

Pete Campbell

Why can't you give me what I want? I've earned this job. I deserve it.

Don Draper

Why? Because your parents are rich? Because you went to prep school and have a $5.00 haircut? You've been given everything. You've never worked for anything in your life.