Roger Sterling quotes from Mad Men

Roger Sterling

Well I gotta go learn a bunch of people's names before I fire them.

Roger

Is it just me, or is the lobby full of Negros?

Roger

[seeing Pete and Lane ready to fight] I know cooler heads should prevail but am I the only one who wants to see this?

Roger

Who knows why people in history did good things? For all we know Jesus was trying to get the loaves and fishes account.

Roger

[to Don] I'll buy you a drink if you wipe the blood off your mouth.

Roger

[to his psychiatrist] I'm just acknowledging that life, unlike this analysis, will eventually end, and somebody else will get the bill.

Roger

We're conquistadors. I'm Vasco de Gama, you're... some other Mexican. We're going to land, buy whatever they've got for the beads in our pockets. Our biggest challenge is to not get syphilis.

Roger

We've got a computer. It's going to do lots of magical things, like make Harry Crane seem important.

Roger

No more Sterling Cooper, and no more Sterlings. Margaret is the only daughter of an only son of an only son.

Don Draper

Let me ask you something, what do women want?

Roger Sterling

Who cares?

Roger Sterling

I bet there were people in the Bible walking around, complaining about "kids today."

Don Draper

Kids today, they have no one to look up to. 'Cause they're looking up to us.

Roger Sterling

I bet daily friendship with that bottle attracts more people to advertising than any salary you can dream of.

Don Draper

It's the way I got in.

Roger Sterling

So enjoy it.

Don Draper

I'm doin' my best here.

Roger Sterling

No, you're not. You don't know how to drink. Your whole generation, you drink for the wrong reasons. My generation, we drink because it's good, because it feels better than unbuttoning your collar, because we deserve it. We drink because it's what men do.

Don Draper

What about shaky hands, I see a lot of that with you boys?

Roger Sterling

No joke. Your kind with your gloomy thoughts and your worries, you're all busy licking some imaginary wound.

Don Draper

Not all imaginary.

Roger Sterling

Yeah, boo hoo.

Don Draper

Maybe I'm not as comfortable being powerless as you are.

Roger Sterling

What you did is totally unacceptable.

Pete Campbell

I realize that.

Roger Sterling

I want you to be very clear about this: You were fired. I wanted you out. Cooper wanted you out. And you would be...if it weren't for this man. [motions to Don] He thought you deserved another chance. That's right. He fought for you.

Pete Campbell

I don't know what to say.

Roger Sterling

Say nothing. You are here because of Don Draper's largess.

Pete Campbell

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Roger Sterling

Now, I know that your generation went to college instead of serving, so I'll illuminate you. This man is your commanding officer. You live and die in his shadow. Understood?

Pete Campbell

[nods vigorously] I won't let you down, Don.

Roger Sterling

Jesus! Campbell...don't ever say that.

Pete Campbell.

Roger

On his way out.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Roger

Can't be avoided, I'm afraid.

I wish I could agree with that.

Roger

He's a junior account executive who brought his own idea to a client, in a bar. There are rules.

There are other rules.

Don

What's the problem?

New York City is a marvelous machine filled with levers, and gears, like a fine watch, wound tight, always ticking.

Don

Sounds more like a bomb.

How much do you know about Pete's family?

Don

Nothing, except they put out a mediocre product.

His mother is Dorothy Dykeman Campbell. The Dykemans own pretty much everything north of 125th Street, which, I don't know how good your geography is, but that's a fair chunk of the island.

Don

So they're rich. So what?

Well, no. His grandfather dropped it all in '29; panicked. Some people have no confidence in this country.

Don

What's your concern, then?

Well, I don't want Dorothy Dykeman Campbell standing on the dock at Fisher's Island this summer, talking about how badly Sterling Cooper treated her son.

Roger

I don't think any of us want that.

We lose him, we lose our entree to Buckley, Deak, the Maidstone Club, the Century Club, Dartmouth, Gracie Mansion sometimes. It's a marky issue for us. See my point?

Don

Absolutely. He's more valuable to the agency than I am.

Don't kid yourself; there's a Pete Campbell, at every agency out there.

Don

Well, let's go get one of the other ones.

You're going to need a stronger stomach if you're going to be back here in the kitchen seeing how the sausage is made.

Don

I thought it was a big watch.

You handle the words. You know how much we want you here with us.

Roger

No doubt about that. Don's a big boy, Bert. Aren't you, Don?

Don

Well, thank you, sir.

There you go! I'm glad we're all better now.

Roger Sterling

What else is there?

Don Draper

I don't know. Life being lived? I'd like to stop talking about it and get back to it.