Kenzi quotes from Lost Girl

Kenzi

Dude, you are the leader if the Light Fae, hello? You need to start dressing like the leader of the Light Fae. Okay? This sports coat is waaaay caj. And the shoes, I can't even talk about the shoes. Obviously you need a stylist.

Hale

Uh huh. And I suppose you're just the fly-girl to do it, huh?

Kenzi

Why, Mr. Ash... I'd be delighted! I have so many ideas. I'm thinking like, silk ties and tailored suits. You know, your basic Ocean's Eleven special-

Hale

Ok, ok, ok, ok- Just don't go too crazy, huh? [hands her a credit card]

Kenzi

The Ash has his own black platinum?!

Hale

Honey, the black platinum ain't got nothing on that.

Kenzi

Thank you! You will not regret this. [Hale leaves] How do we feel about ascots...?

Kenzi

Is this gonna take long?

Lauren

Pardon?

Kenzi

The bed antics. It just keeps going, like a Grateful Dead jam...

Bo

[after chasing a man] Hey- How you feeling?

Kenzi

[panting] Like Wile E. Coyote... You?

Bo

Yeah, he's fast... But Stella says I need him. Well, his sweat.

Kenzi

Right, right- At least we're not risking a heart attack for something gross.

Bo

He secretes pheromones I need to gain entrance into the Temple. He's an Oo'Glug. Didn't Trick tell you?

Kenzi

Me and Trick only talk sweat on Tuesdays. We gangsta like that. Anyway, not that I don't enjoy this rest- but doesn't the most important ceremony of your life start in like an hour?

Bo

Yeah, you're right. Break's over. [starts running after the man again]

Kenzi

No, I-! No, I take it back! We have plenty of time! Where's the ACME company when you need 'em?!

Kenzi

Back when I got that rash from the Kitsune and she Kenzi-napped me and yadda yadda yadda... She told me that I could be Fae.

Trick

Did she now?

Kenzi

Which- Isn't really true. Is it?

Trick

What did Stella say to you? You looked upset.

Kenzi

She told me what happens to humans who are abandoned by the Fae who claimed them.

Trick

[sighs] You're not Bo's pet.

Kenzi

I'm not Fae either.

Trick

Bo's very strong. I have every hope and faith that she will emerge safely.

Kenzi

And if she doesn't?

Trick

Hale or Dyson could use someone to do chores around their house.

Kenzi

Don't play me, homie.

Trick

I suppose... If Bo weren't around anymore- I could claim you.

Kenzi

Get out.

Trick

Even though I have no right to, I've come to think of you as family, Kenzi. I hope you don't mind.

Kenzi

[smiles] Well, it's a little presumptuous but- if you must.

Trick

And for however long you want it, you have a place in my world. Our world. [Kenzi hugs him]

Anyone else think that these deaths might be some sort of freaky animal attack?

Like a wolf?

Dyson

[standing in the doorway] A wolf wouldn't leave the body intact.

Kenzi

Yeah, not to mention, they're really lame.

Dyson

Oh, really?

Kenzi

Yeah, and surprisingly girly.

Dyson

I think you protest too much. I think you love wolves.

Kenzi

Wolves WISH I loved them.

Kenzi

[telling a story] SuperKenz wasn't just any human. Not only did she have killer personal style, but she had a smorgasbord of powers. Her sense of smell was a strong as a wolf's. And when she sang, she could knock people out just like a Siren.

What's a Siren?

Kenzi

A douchebag who wears stupid hats.

Hale

What are you still doing here?!

Kenzi

Bo's in trouble. I think Tamsin's trying to hurt her-

Hale

Forget about Bo for a second. You have to go-

Kenzi

Stop saying that to me! Why does everyone keep saying that?! We all used to be friends, Hale!

Hale

Goddamn it, Kenzi! You are not my friend! You've never been just a friend! If anything happens to you... I won't be any good to anyone. And right now I need to be better than I've ever been.

Kenzi

[quietly] Asshole. You stupid- Why didn't you tell me that?!

Hale

Because I was scared.

Kenzi

Look out for surprise attacks.

Surprise. I'm huge. I don't do stealth.

Kenzi

Bruce, I'll be fine. Really, you have to go. If The Morrigan finds that out you helped me...

The Morrigan just declared you an enemy of the realm. I'm not leaving your side 'til you're safe. You're tough, Kenzi. But you're human.

Kenzi

Not for long.

What?!

Kenzi

I met someone who said he could make me Fae. I think I'm going to take him up on it.

Bad idea.

Kenzi

Yeah, I'll probably owe Massimo for the rest of my life, but-

Massimo, the Druid? Really bad idea.

Kenzi

Yeah, well, my friends need me, Bruce. They need me to nut up. Do the rescuing, for once. And I can't. I can't when I'm... this.

I'm not letting you meet him alone.

Kenzi

Well, it's a long walk.

Who's walking? [unlocks a sports car] The Morrigan's new toy. And you get to drive.

Kenzi

I love you.

I love you too, Kenzi.

Kenzi

I was talking to the car.

[quietly to himself] Uh, idiot.

Kenzi

So what you're saying is, somebody's been in here extracting our memories? [Snook nods]

Dyson

This is very disturbing.

Kenzi

Yeah you're telling me. I could be famous. [gasps] I could be a Kardashian.

Dyson

You could be shy.

Kenzi

I cannot believe he Kenzi-proofed it. He's playing off my power.

Bo

How do we make you stop sparking?

Kenzi

Ugh. It kinda just runs out. You know, like sunscreen. Reapply after swimming. I guess I could take a shower but I really don't wanna get my hair wet, it's such an ordeal.

Bo

I hear ya.

Kenzi

You know what though, it's been like a week, I probably should wash it. Is Lauren's conditioner like the worst?

Bo

It's the worst.

Kenzi

Does it contain disinfectants? I mean God knows what that woman is putting in her hair. She can not be trusted.

[to Dyson and Kenzi] You have failed to abide by the sacred rules of the Fae. If you have any last words speak them now.

Kenzi

Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.

The human has spoken for you then.

Kenzi

[to Dyson] I just stole your last words?! Oh my God, I suck!

Lauren

What is it Dyson? A flesh-eater?

Kenzi

Sharknado?!

Dyson

Worse. Mermaids.

Kenzi

Oh my God mermaids! I love mermaids! But like love them.

Dyson

They are the psychopaths of the sea Kenz. "The seas have eyes" is their cultural motto.

Lauren

They are a rare and fascinating species.

Kenzi

Yeah. They comb their hair with forks!

Dyson

Yeah. Right after they stab you in the face with them. Just before they blow up your ship that's on route to the new world.

Kenzi

Yeah, but then they sing to us with crabs.

Dyson

No they don't Kenzi.