Yasser quotes from Little Mosque on the Prairie

Yes, this is a good one: "Reverend, I would like to run a mosque out of your parish hall. Would you like to tell Jesus or should I?"

My seat smells. Is that why they call it a "pew"?

[Trying to sell a cemetery plot] What do I need to do to put you in a grave today?

Ladies, please! Let's not turn this prison visit into something unpleasant.

"Only use the best", that's my motto!

I thought your motto was "we build cheap"?

Sarah

I was selfish and horrible.

Rayyan

Yes, you were, but so was I.

Sarah

Ah!

Rayyan

Although much less so

You two are exactly alike.

[simultaneously] No we're not!

Amaar

What was your favorite part [of the sermon]?

The end.

Amaar, do you have a minute? I need your help.

Amaar

I'm not holding down another nail for you. My thumb is still throbbing.

There must be some rule in the Qur'an against praying too much.

Amaar

Let me get this straight: you're asking a spiritual leader to help someone stop praying?

Baber

Yasser, I have got it! What if we move the Mosque and simply don't tell him?

Put it on wheels, move it around town?

Samira would cook for you. Her couscous is heavenly, tastes like angel droppings.

Mmmm... my favourite type of droppings.

I told her [he would not marry Samira]... And then she had a mild heart attack.

Sarah

Then tell her again and finish the job!

Are you sorry you doubted me?

Sarah

No, sometimes I'm sorry I married you.

What kind of normal person has any interest in Islam?

Rayyan

You mean besides us Muslims, dad?

Sarah

Don't ruin this for Rayyan.

I'm her father. It's my job to ruin it for her.

Sarah

Don't we have a New Testament hanging around somewhere around here?

New Testament?

Sarah

Yeah or an Old Testament?

If we had a new testament surely I would have thrown the old one.